Fred Herriot Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in December 1993 **** **** **** INTRODUCTION or NO, THIS IS NOT A PARODY When I began work on the first version of this introduction I decided I would discuss my attraction to the Dirty Pair. I've come to the conclusion that my initial attraction to Kei and Yuri was probably the same as most people - the lead characters, two independently-minded women dressed in bikinis and high-heeled boots, stirred basic impulses in the macho-male system. Later on, I realized other aspects of Takachiho's creation appealed to me: the heavy action and adventure, the setting (quite similar to Gene Roddenberry's vision of the future depicted in "Star Trek"), and finally, the fact that the heroines of this story were not picture-perfect - they made lots and lots of mistakes! I hope the mood I set in "The Trans-Galactic Case" is similar to that seen in the Bandai/Sunrise television series, the OVAs and "Project Eden." No offense to the Studio Proteus crew, but the comics they produced were too upbeat in comparison with the Japanese works. For those of you expecting a funny work of fiction, well, as I once told Alec Orrock of Summer Side: I couldn't do a good parody if my life depended on it! With that understood, I hope, if you are a fan of the Lovely Angels, "The Trans-Galactic Case" is entertaining for you to read as it was enjoyable for me to write. For those of you who are anime fans but have not been exposed to Kei and Yuri, I've designed this work to act as a comprehensive introduction to them. This work draws (as best as possible to date) from all the Japanese-produced works (i.e. Takachiho's original novel, the television series, the OVAs and "Project Eden") as well as the Studio Proteus comics. Please note that some stuff in this work (i.e. Kei and Yuri's family name and relations) are of my own creation, and should not be accepted as established fact. Cheers and enjoy! Fred **** **** **** HISTORIAN'S NOTE: This fanzine is set after the events depicted in "Dirty Pair III: A Plague of Angels." The historical order of events accepted in this fanzine and future works are as follows: "The Great Adventures of Dirty Pair" and sequels (Takachiho's original novels) "Dirty Pair" television series "Affair of Nolandia" (first OVA) "Biohazards" (first Studio Proteus mini-series) "Project Eden" ("Dirty Pair" movie) "Dirty Pair" OVAs #1 - 10 "Dangerous Acquaintances" (second Studio Proteus mini- series) "Flight DCL 005 Conspiracy" (latest OVA) "A Plague of Angels" (third Studio Proteus mini-series) Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in January 1993 **** **** **** CHAPTER ONE - CALL FROM THE PAST "Kei, I'm home," Yuri called out. The Yocha-born half of the Lovely Angels strolled into their apartment on Shimogu. The group, infamously known as the Dirty Pair, had returned to Shimogu three weeks before. Prior to this, they had lived on the Kalevela, an O'Neil class centrifugal space station in the L'Hain system. They were exiled from Kalevela after helping the local security with a smuggling case. Unfortunately, like most of the Angels' cases, something went wrong - a gravity bomb went off. As a result, Kuan Yin Defence Technologies, the owners of Kalevela, banished the Angels off their stations. Yuri was depressed by the banishment - they had a very nice apartment on Kalevela. Thus, while the 3WA was busy with lawsuit proceedings against Kuan Yin, Kei and Yuri had returned to their old quarters on Shimogu. The apartment was empty, save for Mughi. Looking up, the large bear-cat made a questioning growl. Yuri glanced into Kei's room to see if her partner was out, then back to Mughi "Where is she?" Mughi shrugged his furry shoulders, then went back to sleep. Yuri sighed, suspecting Kei was out shopping. Sitting herself down on the couch, she picked up the pile of gossip magazines on the coffee table. Leafing through them, she picked out "High Sense," a popular weekly newsmagazine. Kei and Yuri's new friend, Cory Emerson, whom they met on Kalevela, was a reporter with "High Sense." Picking through the articles, Yuri couldn't find anything Cory had done. She remembered Cory was employed as a "ghost writer" for some of the larger by-lines. Before Yuri could take another glance through, the doorbell chimed. "Who could that be?" Yuri wondered aloud as she walked to the door. Opening it, she said "Yes?" before stopping. And staring. "Could this be the house of Katharine Stuart, miss?" the gentleman on the other side asked. The accent was a strong Scottish brogue, a type Yuri first heard from Field Marshall Connolly, the cyber-mech head of Kalevela's security force. The gentleman himself was dressed in traditional Scots banquet uniform - tuxedo jacket, white shirt and tie, and kilt. Yuri had never encountered someone dressed in this manner, explaining her surprise. "I'm sorry, there's no Katharine Stuart at this address." "Oh...pardon me, miss," the gentleman shook his head. "I'm Katharine," came a new voice from down the hall. Yuri looked over to see her partner standing ten feet away. Both hands were holding bags from various fashion outlets at the nearby mall. Yuri looked between Kei and the gentleman in complete confusion. She knew, when they first met back in university, that Kei's family name was Niogama. "Ah!" the gentleman reached into his tuxedo to pull out an envelope. "For ye, Miss Katharine." Kei walked up, put down one of the bags, then took the envelope in hand. On the envelope was written MISS KATHARINE STUART, APARTMENT 234, HQ WWWA SHIMOGU. Yuri looked to her partner for an explanation, but Kei's attention was to the man standing with them "Who's this from?" "I'm not sure, miss," the gentleman shrugged. "I was instructed to give it to ye, and that's it." Kei nodded "Thanks." The gentleman nodded in return and walked away. Yuri backed into the apartment as Kei passed her bags through the doorway. "Kei, what the hell's this all about?" Kei ignored her partner as the last of the bags came through. Closing the door, she opened the letter and began reading. "Kei?" Yuri repeated. Finally getting to the bottom, Kei looked up "It's from my mother." "Your mom?" Yuri asked. "Kei, your family name is Niogama, not Stuart." "My mom's family," Kei sighed, sitting down on the couch. Yuri nodded, starting to understand why the messenger had addressed Kei as "Stuart." Neither of the Lovely Angels made use of their family names in day-to-day business with the 3WA. "So what's the message?" "I'm to go to Nova Albion as soon as possible." "Why?" "She didn't say," Kei shook her head. "Can you turn it down?" "No." "Oh, come on, Kei!" "Yuri, for Pete's sake, its my family!!" Kei snapped angrily. Realizing she was about to lose her temper, she took several deep breaths and carried on. "The Stuarts are very traditional. If I don't go, they'll declare me an outcast and I'll never see my mother again." "Except if you go back to Niogi to see your dad," Yuri shrugged. Kei shook her head again. "My dad's family is just as bad. If they found out that I didn't go to see my mom's family, my dad's'll banish me as well." "That's bullshit!" Yuri snapped. "Besides, chances are the 3WA'll have a mission for us soon. Goulet'll freak if we trip on him!" Kei moaned, laying her head on the couch. Yuri sat down on the coffee table "You're not looking forward to this, are you?" "Nope!" she shook her head. "I mean I love my mother very much, but her relatives are so....so...I mean, totally out of sync with reality!" "How?" "Well, you saw that guy. Everyone wears those darn kilts no matter where they go! The Stuarts live their lives as our ancestors did back on Earth! They play those bagpipes every chance they get..." "Bagpipes?" Yuri asked. "You'll find out," Kei said. "...and, like there's nothing to do on Nova Albion! Hell, they even arrange marriages there!" "Get real!" Yuri gasped. Then nodding understandingly, "I see your point." Kei moaned again, rubbing her skull. Yuri stood up, and reached for her coat. "Where are you going?" Kei asked. "To see Goulet," Yuri sighed. "Oh, wonderful!" Kei stood up. "After getting the shit from the Kalevela, he'll be *so* pleased to see us." * * * "I can't let you go." 3WA Criminal Investigation Division Chief Administrator Albert F. Goulet shook his head. Kei and Yuri had caught him in his office. Goulet was in his mid-forties, and had to deal with the Lovely Angels on an on-and-off basis over the past three years. Like most people, he had been, at first, wary of the "Dirty Pair" reputation. However, seeing them work on a dozen occasions, Goulet's opinion changed from distrust to a wary respect. The DCA knew the girls gave each case their best time and time again - thus, all the mishaps that occurred on the majority of the Angels' missions seldom bothered him. "I have to go," Kei sighed. "Look, Chief, my family wouldn't go to the trouble of sending a messenger unless it was important!" "So important they don't bother to tell you what the problem is?" Goulet sighed. "We have some vacation time accumulated," Yuri noted. "It's not that," the DCA shook his head again. "Look, if I could spare you, I would." "A case?" Kei asked. Goulet nodded, then passed Kei and Yuri some datapads. Kei turned hers on, and read the details. Looking up, she asked "Couldn't another team take this?" "This seems simple," Yuri shrugged. "A team fresh from the Academy could handle this." "We ran it through Cencomp," Goulet sighed, referring to the UG/3WA Central Computer, the agency that decided which trouble consultant team would get which mission. "You were chosen." "But..." Kei stammered. "You'll contact your parents," Goulet interrupted, "and explain to them you're tasked for a mission. Both Nova Albion and Niogi understand a 3WA trouble consultant, once tasked to a mission, cannot and does not have time for personal matters!" "And if they can't accept it?" Yuri asked. "It's their problem," Goulet said. "...and Kei won't be able to see her family again," Yuri added. "I doubt they'll go that far." "You don't know them," Kei shook her head. Before the DCA could respond, the vidphone signalled. Picking it up, he said "CIDCA, Goulet." A second later, he stood "Yes, sir." A glance to Kei. "They're right here, sir." Ten more seconds. "But sir, they're tasked." Another two. "I...yes, I understand, sir. Good day." "What was that?" Kei asked. "The Brigadier," Goulet sighed. "It's your lucky day, Kei. He received an official request from the Clan Matriarch of the Stuart family." "Who...?" Yuri asked. "My grand-aunt," Kei said. "And?" "You've been granted two weeks leave on the Brigadier's orders," Goulet explained. "That was the amount of time requested by her." "Wow!" Yuri sighed. "She must be pretty influential!" "She is," Kei shook her head. "My grand-aunt's the most powerful person on Nova Albion. Even the planetary president listens to her." "Well, anyhow, you've got the leave," Goulet nodded. Looking at Yuri, he added "You got time off, too." "Great," Yuri smiled. "I'm going with Kei." "Huh?!" Kei looked over. "This is a family thing." "And I'll be stuck here with nothing to do," Yuri smiled as she walked out of Goulet's office. Kei followed as Yuri carried on "Besides, I've always wanted to meet your parents. I was surprised they never came to see you when we graduated from university or the Academy." "I know," Kei sighed. "Dad and Mom wanted me to settle down and get married, like a good little girl. University was pushing it a bit." "And when the 3WA asked us to join?" "They flipped. You should've heard Dad when he found out," Kei led Yuri out of the administration building. Their car was waiting on the driveway. "He said 'the WWWA is no place for a woman - never has been and never will be.'" "And your mom?" Yuri hopped into the driver's seat. "She was against it at first, but I suppose she came to accept it," Kei slid into the passenger's seat and slouched back. "But not all the way?" "Nope." The car levitated from the ground as Yuri gave it the gas. The Angels were notorious ground vehicle drivers, so people had cleared a wide path as they came out of the building. Slipping into traffic, Yuri cut a course towards their apartment complex. "You don't have to come along if you don't want to," Kei sighed. "I want to," Yuri smiled. "Besides, you look like a person who needs some support when you confront your family." "Thanks," Kei smiled, offering her hand. "Friends?" "Forever," Yuri grasped the hand and gave it a firm squeeze. * * * Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in January 1993 **** **** **** CHAPTER TWO - THE FAMILY REUNION "Nova Albion Traffic Control to approaching ship. Come in please." The "Lovely Angel," the team's 80-metre Wasp class vertical lander, had warped out of hyperspace at the edge of the S'hain system. Nova Albion, the only inhabitable planet, sat fourth from the sun. The planet was roughly the same size as Earth, with a 70-30 split between water and land. Most of Nova Albion's landmass was over four fair-sized continents. All four of these continents were criss-crossed with large mountain ranges - virtually the same as Scotland on Earth. It was this reason that, fifty years before, the Stuart clan decided to settle here. The traffic control centre was located on Aberdeen, the large continent on the equator. "Nova Albion Traffic, this is the 'Lovely Angel,'" Kei responded. "Go ahead." "'Lovely Angel?!?!'" the traffic controller asked, faint recognition coming across. "Registration and homeport, please." The video link came up, revealing a middle-aged man dressed in workman's coveralls and the planetary crest - essentially the Stuart clan crest - emblazoned on his left side. Kei sighed, then said "Callsign is Amor. Registration number is 3WA23416R. Homeport is the headquarters 3WA on Shimogu." "Aye," the man nodded, then typed out the information on his deskpad. A second later, a *ding* was heard. The traffic controller recoiled in horror at the information on his screen. "Begorrah!!! Yuir the Dirtee Paer!!!" "Oh, jeez, give us a break!!" Kei growled under her breath. The screen went fuzzy for a second. Thinking the transmission cut, Kei called out, "Nova Albion, this is 'Lovely Angel.' We've lost visual! Can you read us?" The static on the screen became less as a woman's voice burst on the speaker. "...and yu'll not be addressin' them by that infernal nickname, y'understand?!" "Mom?!" Kei called out. "Kay?" the screen cleared. Mrs. Elizabeth Stuart-Niogami was an elder version of Kei. The only difference between mother and daughter is that Elizabeth's eyes were a sea-blue shade, while Kei's eyes were chocolate. Yuri figured Kei inherited her eyes from her father. Kei laughed "Hi, Mom." Elizabeth's featured had been contoured in anger while she was admonishing the traffic controller for intoning the Angels' hated nickname. They softened now as recognition dawned on her face. "Oh, dear, ye...!!" Tears began to flow down Kei's cheeks. Elizabeth's attention focused on Yuri. "Are ye...?!" "Yuri Yochimitsu," she bowed her head in respect. "A pleasure to meet you, ma'am." "My! Yuir as beautiful as Kay described ye," Elizabeth sighed. Then, she looked between the two Angels, and recoiled in shock. "Good Lord, what type of beastie is that?!?!" Mughi let out a friendly growl as Kei explained "Our pet, Mom." Turning back, she said, "Say hi, Mughi." The big cat pulled back his lips in an imitation of a smile, letting out a pleasant purr. Although the greeting was intended as friendly, the sight of Mughi's inch-long teeth was intimidating. "Ah...er...that's nice, dear," Elizabeth nodded, sweat forming on her forehead. "Mom, what's going on?!" Kei asked. "Your letter said nothing..." "It's yuir grandfather, Kay." "Wha...?!" "He's dying." * * * Having obtained landing clearance, the "Lovely Angel" put down at the New Aberdeen Spaceport. Docking the ship inside one of the large hangars, Kei and Yuri shut things down and disembarked. Yuri noticed immediately her partner was nervous - Kei walked with a very hesitant step. Looking about, Kei asked "Where is everyone?" The answer came immediately. "KAY!!!!" The Angels spun about to see two young women - about Kei's age - sprinting towards them. Both were clearly close relatives - they had the trademark red hair and blue eyes that Yuri saw in her partner's mother. They were dressed in button- down shirts and kilts, which, Yuri assumed, was relaxed dress on Nova Albion. "Jennifer?!" Kei gasped. The larger of the two girls ran up and embraced Kei in a heartfelt hug. Kei laughed out loud as full recognition dawned, and fiercely returned the embrace. "It is you!!!" Kei screamed. "I thought you didn't recognize me!" Jennifer Stuart laughed, letting Kei go. Kei's attention had gone to the other woman. "Alice?" "Aye," Alice cried, hugging Kei with considerable fierceness. Yuri assumed that Alice Stuart looked upon her partner as a favoured cousin. Kei had briefed her on all the close relations. Alice and Jennifer were daughters of Elizabeth's older brother William. Remembering her partner, Kei let go of Alice and said "Oh, guys, this is my partner Yuri. Yuri, Alice and Jennifer." "Hi!" Yuri smiled, shaking the outstretched hands. "Welcome to Nova Albion," Jennifer curtsied. "And this is about the friendliest welcome you'll get from anyone here." "Why's that?" Kei asked. "Most of the family didnae like the idea of Kay's mother marryin' a foreigner," Alice explained. Her accent was more pronounced than Jennifer's. "Seein' ye'll just exacerbate that." "I've taken worse," Yuri smiled. Inside, she was surprised that, at this time, such prejudices would still exist. "I hope so," Jennifer shrugged as she led the Angels, Alice and Mughi out of the hangar. "Though, I suppose being called 'Dirty Pair' everywhere you go might help." The four women, plus one big cat, hopped into a hovercar waiting outside the hangar. Once outside, Yuri began taking in the spectacular view. Aberdeen Station was set on an extinct volcano, one of the highest points around. Large clouds hovered in the distance, but the visibility extended for fifty miles. There were other mountains in view, with small valleys in between. "Wow!" Yuri whispered. "You guys got a nice place here." "Thanks," Alice smiled. "Where are ye from?" "Yocha," Yuri explained. "It's a forest world. You'd never see views like this." "I've never been off-planet before," Alice sighed. Yuri began to realize that she envied her cousin, for not only making it out into space, but being able to visit planet after planet. "It's interesting at first," Kei said as the car soared down the mountainside. "But then it gets to be a bit boring." "I wouldnae think so," Alice smiled. An hour later, the hovercar arrived at the huge castle that served as the stronghold of the Stuart family. Kei had explained to Yuri that the castle had been disassembled on Earth, transported and meticulously re-assembled on this mountaintop. Yuri was impressed by the history Castle Stuart projected to visitors. She had visited one other castle before - Castle Gebono on Orius. That was a visit Yuri would prefer to forget. The hovercar came to a halt in front of a huge flight of stairs leading to the front gates of the castle. The four girls and Mughi got out of the vehicle and began climbing. Once at the top, the doors silently parted to allow them inside - Yuri suspected there were sensors built into the doorway to allow visitors inside. Once through the doorway, Kei looked about "Mom?!" "Kay!!" Elizabeth Stuart cried from a balcony. Mother and daughter met in a fierce hug halfway down a side stairwell. "Oh, darlin'!" Elizabeth cried. "I'm so happy to see ye!" "Where's Dad?" Kei broke free. "He's back on Niogi," Elizabeth wiped the tears from her face as they walked back down. Kei groaned inward as she and Elizabeth walked up to where Yuri and the others were waiting. Introductions were made and Elizabeth detailed Alice to take Yuri to the guest quarters. As her partner was led away, Kei asked "How's Grandpa?" "Not good," Elizabeth shook his head. "He's been waiting for ye for some time." "I'll see him now," Kei nodded. "Not dressed like that, you won't!" Jennifer shook her head. Kei was dressed in her standard 3WA trouble consultant's uniform. "C'mon to my room. I've got some stuff you can borrow." * * * "Grandpa?" Kei called out. "Whu...?!" Angus MacDonald Stuart moaned. After getting dressed in formal wear (the same uniform the Angels saw on the courier), Kei was led by Elizabeth and Jennifer to Angus' bedroom. With the dying man was a Presbyterian minister and a local doctor. Angus was eighty years old, and once looked the part of a powerful Scots warlord. Now, he was a shadow of his former self. "Is that ye, Katharine?" "Aye," Kei leaned down to take her grandfather's hand. "You look wonderful, Grandpa." "Dinnae lie ta me!" Angus snorted, then let out a quiet laugh. "I know ye mean well." "My partner and I just came in," Kei smiled. "What's wrong?" "Old age, that's what!" Angus snorted again. "Ah, purhaps it's better this way." "Don't say that," Kei sighed. Although she still held the attitude that most of the Stuart clan were backwards in their outlook on reality, Kei cared deeply for her family. The news of her grandfather's impending death had hit her like a torpedo. She was trying to come to grips with all her conflicting emotions vis-a-vis Angus. "Now, Katharine," Angus feebly reached over to take Kei's hand in both of his own. "I've been watchin' ye doin' yuir work with the 3WA. Nivver before did I believe that a woman could do work like that." "Well..." Kei gulped. "We've had problems." "Aye, that ye have," Angus nodded. "People callin' ye the 'Dirtee Paer' and all that! Even though ye've been sufferin' from the devil's own case of bad luck, ye and yuir friend have survived it all." "Thanks." "Now, I salute the fact that ye want to go out an' help other people. But..." Angus emphasized the point with his finger at Kei's chest, "...when are ye gonna help yuirself?" "I...I don't understand." "When are ye gonna settle down?" Kei gulped again. *So that's what he's concerned about!* her mind screamed out. Angus wasn't worried at all about Kei's career as a 3WA trouble consultant. He was worried about her finding someone, getting married and becoming a proper housewife - like her mother and most of the other women on Nova Albion! She suppressed her anger quickly. "Grandpa, well, you see, my choices are limited where men are concerned." She gave him a smile, hoping he would understand. "I know, I know," Angus nodded. "I know yuir prohibited from marryin' anyone outside the 3WA! But...why limit yuirself to that?" *Now he wants me to retire!!* Kei sighed. *Damn, now I know why I left Niogi!!!* "Grandpa, I promise you I'll seriously consider retirement. My current stint with the 3WA ends in two years anyhow." "Yuil promise me that?" Kei nodded, tears running down her cheek. "Aye." "That's...that's good," Angus sighed. He laid back on the bed, as if all the energy in him just left. "Grandpa?" Kei called out. Angus Stuart made no sound. * * * Two days later... In one of the many wings of Castle Stuart, Yuri was slipping on an evening gown Elizabeth provided for her. The news of Angus Stuart's death had spread across Nova Albion like wildfire. Now, the diverse members of the clan were gathering at the castle to celebrate the life of Angus in the traditional Scottish manner - a combination wake/banquet. As she was the best friend of a member of the clan, Yuri was invited as a guest. Mughi had returned to the "Lovely Angel," where he would stay for the remaining time they were on the planet. As Yuri adjusted her dress, a knock was heard at the door. "Come in," Yuri called out. The door opened, and Kei walked inside. She was dressed in the same clothes that she wore to Angus' deathbed. Yuri looked over "You okay?" "Yeah, I suppose..." Kei sighed to herself as she sat down on the bed. "You never told me what your grandfather wanted. What was it?" Kei gulped back tears as Angus' words echoed across her mind: "I know yuir prohibited from marryin' anyone outside the 3WA! But why limit yuirself to that?" "He wanted me to retire." "Huh?" "He wanted me to retire from the 3WA, find some nice guy, and settle down like a good little Scottish girl!!!" Kei snapped. "Whoa, girl, relax!" Yuri recoiled back from her partner's anger. "So what do you intend to do?" "I won't quit!" Kei shook her head. "There's nothing in this galaxy that could make me quit!" She got up to pace around. "I'll only quit when I'm good and ready to!!" "Well, there have been some nice guys that've crossed your path before," Yuri mused aloud. "And some are still around. Carson, for instance." Kei let out a sigh. Carson D. Carson was a petty thief who worked with rare minerals. The Angels had encountered him in the Project E.D.E.N. fiasco on Agrana. While there was considerable tension between Kei and Carson at first, it mellowed out into a short, caring relationship. "Well, there's hope there," Kei mused. Silence descended on the room as Yuri finished dressing. They stepped out into the hallway and proceeded to the foyer leading to the castle's central hall, where the banquet was being held. Already there were Elizabeth, Jennifer, Alice and Kei's other immediate relatives. As they were introduced, Yuri felt the same level of acceptance Jennifer and Alice had given her at the Aberdeen spacedock. There was none of the prejudice that Kei's cousins warned Yuri about. "And who is this?" a voice suddenly called out from behind Yuri. The Angels spun around to see a tall gentleman standing right behind them. He was virtually a male version of Jennifer. There were some minor differences in the clothing he wore - differences implying a greater importance within the clan hierarchy. The only major difference was the thinly veiled distaste that the man exhibited to the Angels - Yuri in particular. Kei gave a very unfriendly smile "Why, hello, Donald. What bring you here?" Yuri caught onto the name quickly. Donald Stuart was the only grandson to the clan matriarch, and was in line to succeed her as the new clan patriarch. Yuri also learned from Kei that Donald was a self-righteous, arrogant bastard who deserved close watching. Yuri could sense it immediately, and sent it back in kind "Why, you must be Cousin Donald! Kei has told me *so* much about you." "This is a family affair," Donald said evenly. "People like yourself are not wanted here." "So what's wrong with me?" Yuri rose to the challenge. "Well, you're - ah, I believe that the Japanese word for it is *gaijin!*" Donald let out an unfriendly smile of his own. Yuri wanted nothing else but to haul back and smash that smile from the conceited jerk's face! Before she could say anything else, a new voice called out "Donald!" Donald's face went white. "Er...yes, Grandmother?" "Yuil be not treatin' our guest in such a despicable manner!" a small woman walked up to stand between him and Yuri. She knew immediately who this was: Mary Stuart, the clan matriarch. "But, Grandma, this is a family matter!" Donald protested immediately. "Enough!" Mary snapped. Donald clammed up. She then turned around and said "Yuir from Yocha, Miss Yuri?" "Yes." "Well, I knew yuir grandfather when we were goin' to school back on Earth," Mary laughed. "It pleased us both when you and Kei went to university yuirselves, and later joined the 3WA." "Why...thank you!" Yuri sighed. She noted immediately that Donald was completely flummoxed by the matriarch's open acceptance of Yuri's presence here on Nova Albion. *Take that, you creep!* Yuri's mind added. A bell sounded off in the distance. Mary turned about and said "Ah! 'Tis time to begin. Won't ye be joinin' us?" she asked Yuri. Yuri's response was to take the small woman in hand and escort her into the central hall. Kei, who had remained silent throughout the exchange, had the complete pleasure of seeing Donald, locked in silent rage at the sight of her partner and his grandmother making like the best of friends. To add insult to injury, Kei walked up and whispered "Nice try, dummy! You always were a jerk!" Before Donald could respond, Kei snickered and walked into the hall. * * * Three hours later, Yuri realized why her partner left her family in the first place. Even though Mary Stuart and Kei's immediate relatives were friendly enough, the banquet was, in one word, boring!! The whole affair started with grace, then one course after another of food whose names, textures and flavours Yuri had never encountered in her life! In the background, the bagpipes that Kei had mentioned continued to drone on and on. The tunes they were playing was stuff that - according to Mary - dated back centuries! While the banquet had started out in a subdued tone, Yuri watched as almost everyone was out to get stone-cold drunk!! She doubted Angus Stuart ever wanted his wake to end up like this! There were, however, some exceptions to the dirge-like routine. Mary and several other senior members of the clan constantly pelted her with questions about the Angels' work with the 3WA. "No, their jobs did not always end in disaster. Yes, the 'Dirty Pair' reputation was blown out of proportion. Yes, they were getting better press as time went on. No, all the accidents that occurred on their missions were not their fault! Yes, she's killed many times over - so has Kei!" And on and on and on. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Donald Stuart rose up from his seat and dinged his glass with a spoon. The bagpipe music stopped immediately, and everyone quieted down. Once he had everyone's attention, Donald rose his mug of whisky into the air and said "To Angus Stuart! We shall never forget him!" A mad chorus of "AYE!!!!" filled the hall as everyone staggered to their feet to return the toast. Before anyone else could say another word, the great doors at the end of the hall burst open. From the other side came the mad shout of "EUREKA!!!! I'VE DONE IT!!!!" * * * Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in January 1993 **** **** **** CHAPTER THREE - VISITORS FROM CLASSIC TIMES "What the hell!" Yuri hissed. Everyone's attention was trained on the small man now running up the central aisle towards the head table. He was dressed as a normal scientist would be - in smock, shirt, tie and trousers. He bore a remarkable resemblance to Doctor Kubelstein. Now, he was screaming in complete joy. "I'VE DONE IT!!!" "Professor!!!" Donald Stuart yelled out. "What's the meaning of this?!?!" The scientist halted in front of Donald, completely ignoring the stunned looks from the remainder of the crowd. He grabbed Donald and led him into an impromptu jig around the floor. The professor was still laughing and screaming. "Professor, please!!" Donald shook the scientist out of his happy stupor. "This is a banquet!" "Eh...er...wha'?!" the scientist looked about. "Donald, what's the meaning of this?!" Mary stood up. "I'm trying to understand what's going on here myself, Grandma," Donald looked at her for a second, then returned his focus on the intruding scientist. "Who's that?" Yuri whispered. "Professor Albert Wainwright," Mary responded. "He's a quantum physicist who's in Donald's employ." "Now, Professor," Donald asked. "Would you mind telling us what's going on here?" "I've done it, Mister Stuart!!!" Wainwright responded immediately. "Done what?" "The timegate!!! I've perfected the timegate!!!" The word 'timegate' caught Kei's attention immediately. She leaned over to Jennifer "What's that?" "No one knows," Jennifer shook her head. "Wainwright's been employed by Donald on some secret project over the last year or so." The mention of the timegate shocked Donald into stunned silence for a second. Then, excitedly, he asked "Have you tested it?" "Yes, yes, no more than half an hour ago!!" Wainwright cried out. "I made three scanning passes of different time periods. When I was sure it could work, I came - as per your instructions - to see you!!" "I see," Donald moved into thoughtful silence. "Donald, what is this 'timegate?'" Elizabeth asked. The heir to the head of the Stuart clan was silent for a second, before giving his best smile and declaring "Friends and honoured relatives! A bit of good news in this day of sadness!!" Then, in answer to Elizabeth's question "Professor Wainwright here is a quantum physicist who has long theorised on the shattering of the final barrier impeding man's movement! And what is that final barrier, you might ask?!! It's not the lightspeed barrier - we broke that long ago! No - this barrier is the barrier of time itself!!!" Gasps of disbelief filled the great hall. Now that he had everyone's attention, Donald carried on. "For years, historians have pondered many questions about past events. Why did the great conquerors make the decisions they made! What influenced the great statesmen and scientists to make the decisions that would alter the course of humanity's development! Now, now at last, these questions and hundreds more, will be answered!!" "What does this timegate do?!" a rough male voice called out. "What does it do?" Donald repeated. To Wainwright, he said "Professor, I believe a demonstration is in order. Could the apparatus be set up?" "Immediately, Mister Stuart." "Well then!!" Donald waved towards the doorway. "To the laboratory!" Curious, many of the Stuarts gathered in the great hall rose from their seats and followed Donald. Yuri was completely aghast at what just happened - this was supposed to be a wake for Kei's grandfather! "Well, I never...!!" Mary shook her head, echoing Yuri's thoughts. "That lad'll get himself into trouble if his behaviour carries on like this!!!" Yuri nodded in understanding, got up and went over to where Kei was seated. She and her immediate relatives were debating amongst themselves whether or not to remain. Leaning down beside Kei, Yuri whispered "I think we should tag along." "Why?" Kei asked. "I dunno," Yuri shook her head. "Something about that professor's got me worried." Kei recognized the signs immediately. "Okay, I can agree with that." She got up and followed Yuri out the door. "Now I wonder what's gotten into them?" Elizabeth whispered from her seat. * * * Professor Wainwright's laboratory was sited on a mountaintop within walking distance of the castle. The curious members of the clan, the Lovely Angels in tow, were led inside by several of the clan guardsmen, a private police force employed to protect the Stuart property. The laboratory was set in a dome similar to old-style telescope domes back on Earth. On top of the dome rested a large antennae-like apparatus. Once inside, people were led to the main workroom. This room had a continuous bank of computers on the walls, small work stations scattered about, and a large glass chamber in the centre of the room. Before entering the lab, Kei tapped her earring communicator. "Mughi," she whispered. A low growl came in response. "Call Doctor Kubelstein. Ask him if he knows a Professor Albert Wainwright, currently working in the employ of the Stuart clan. I want to know his history and credentials." Mughi growled in response and cut the transmission. Inside, Wainright busied himself with activating the power generators - which, the Angels assumed, were buried in the mountain. Donald positioned himself in front of a large monitor screen. Once sufficient power was supplied to the timegate apparatus, Wainwright moved to stand in front of the assembled crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please." People quieted down. "As Mister Stuart has explained, this project is designed to act as an aid to historians in the ongoing quest to answer questions about our past. The timegate is, as the name implies, a gateway through the time barrier. However, the timegate should not be assumed to be a doorway to the past. It is, more or less, a window." "You mean people can't use this to travel through time?" Yuri spoke out from the back of the crowd. "Essentially, yes," Wainwright nodded. "While the timegate does allow people to look at events in the past, it does not allow passage. For two reasons. First, even at this late stage of the process, the tidal forces within a timegate are not fully understood. Sending someone into the timegate would be considered sending them to their deaths. The second reason - you might say the ethical reason - is that anyone from this time period passing through to the past could, either accidentally or on purpose, alter some event and change the course of history. "Thus, for the first several operations, I concentrated on remote parts of Earth. For this demonstration, I shall return to the co-ordinates that I used the last time." "Which are?" Kei asked. "In Canada, Miss Kei. The south-eastern part of the province of Ontario, near the border with Quebec." "What year?" Donald asked. "1992." "Why that time?" Yuri asked. "1992 was a year after the major changes in Earth history that brought humanity onto the course leading to the present state we live in." Wainwright turned to the master control board. "Now, with no further interruptions, we'll begin." Several switches were flipped and the monitor screen came on. Slowly, a deep noise filled the room. The central chamber filled with diverse colours and energy patterns, similar to the effect seen when a starship enters hyperspace. On the monitor screen, a test pattern emerged. Wainwright increased power to the timegate, causing the energy within the chamber to coalesce about a single point, in an imitation of a black hole. The monitor screen fuzzed for a second, before coalescing into a solid picture of a planet - Earth! This was not the Earth recognizable to any twenty-second century citizen. This Earth did not have the multitude of space stations and starships in orbit. The planet was depicted with North America on the night side. The lights indicating cities and other inhabited areas were not as numerous as they were today. Furthermore, the large man-made islands built in the early twenty-first century to handle population problems were nowhere to be seen. "Wow!" Yuri whispered to Kei. "This is really happening." "Beginning resolution enhancement," Wainwright declared. The image on the monitor screen closed in on Earth - specifically on an area north-north-east of Lake Ontario. A river - the Ottawa - came into focus. In addition, farm plots and several small urban areas came into view. To the left of the screen was an area of undeveloped territory - Algonquin Park. Centre of the screen appeared a block of land with a small settlement in the south-east corner. The remainder of the territory was criss- crossed by dirt roads, dotted with target ranges and other buildings indicating a military installation. "What is that place?" Kei asked. "Canadian Forces Base Petawawa," Wainwright explained. "Home to a special service formation of the Canadian military known as the Canadian Airborne Regiment." "I remember studying about those units in 3WA training," Yuri whispered to Kei. "Sometimes, they were assigned counter- terrorist work." "Enhancing further," Wainwright reported. The image on the monitor screen focused on one of the small training areas in the centre of Petawawa. "I believe that we may have found something," the professor reported. The image changed again, this time to reveal a small clearing between a mass of trees. In the centre of the clearing was a small campfire, and sitting on both sides were two men! "Ohmigod!" Kei gasped. Mutters of disbelief sounded through the crowd. "Why, what have we here?" Wainwright looked at the screen. "They weren't there before!" *Liar!* Yuri snapped in her head. The professor's disbelief was well acted, but she was able to detect the minute signs. "Can they see us?" one man asked. "Of course not!" Wainwright shook his head. "Can we hear what they're saying?" Donald asked. "Yes, we can," the professor adjusted several switches. Speakers around the room relayed the sounds of the forest - crickets, grasshoppers and the like. The crackle of the campfire came in loud and clear. In the distance was the tattering noise of an old-style machine gun, followed by the low boom of explosives. Everyone in the room was spellbound at the sight - but were soon awakened by a voice. "Pass the coffee, willya, Dips." Most of the crowd was shaken. There was one exception. Kei was trying her best not to burst into peals of laughter. "What's so funny?" Yuri hissed. "Oh, God!" Kei gasped. "I mean, here we all are, expecting to hear some great pronouncement from these guys, and all we get is 'Pass the coffee!!'" The man on the right of the monitor screen - 'Dips' - passed a thermos over "Be bloody pleased when this mess is over" in a crisp English accent. "You have plans for the weekend, Rick?" "Not a one," the man on the left - Rick - shook his head. "Michelle's been trying to drag me into bed with her for the past two months. Can't understand why that girl's so hooked on sex!!" "Ooooh!" Kei giggled. "Poor boy." "Well, if we adopt the medieval attitude about women, sex is all they're made for!" Dipsy laughed. "He's your type," Kei whispered to Yuri. Yuri hummed "Maybe." "Better bury jokes like that, pal!" Rick warned. A pause, then "So, how're things with Sharon?" "Strange. Before I flew over here, she came down to my home in St. James' Park and begged me not to go." "Huh?! How come?" "It was the strangest thing. She comes into my flat, throws her arms around me, and says 'I have this horrible feeling, don't go!'" "Hope they turned out alright," Yuri whispered. "Did I ever show you a picture of Michelle, Dipsy?" Rick asked. "Er...no," Dipsy shook his head. Rick reached into his combat tunic and pulled out a wallet. Flipping it open, he fished out an old two-dimensional picture. "See if you can close in on that," Donald Stuart pointed at the monitor screen. Wainwright adjusted the controls. "The resolution may become somewhat fuzzy. I've never taken this close to anyone before." The image changed to one of Dipsy's hand taking the picture. The edges of the screen were fuzzy, but the centre was crystal clear. "Doesn't appear too bad," the professor mused out loud. "Kei, look!!!" Yuri gasped. Kei looked. So did everyone else. On the screen was a photograph of a man and a woman. The man -obviously Rick - was dressed in Canadian Forces' land garrison dress (a dark camouflage tunic, dark green pants, open collar shirt, combat boots and beret), with the three chevrons and maple leaf of a sergeant on the sleeves, parachute wings on the left breast, and an eight-point star on the beret. He had his right arm across the shoulders of a woman - a woman who could have been Kei's twin sister! "Good Lord!" Donald gasped, looking between the screen and Kei. Dipsy's voice came over the screen "Very nice!" "Thanks," Rick responded, taking back the picture. Wainwright adjusted the controls, and the image on the screen returned to an overhead view of both men. Rick slipped the picture back into his wallet and put it away. At that moment, a loud *crack!* of electricity filled the room. The professor looked up and said "What on Earth...?!?!" "Problems, Professor?" Donald asked. Wainwright looked about in horror. "The timegate controls! They're channelling more power into the timegate!" "What?!" "The machine's taking in more power than it's supposed to!!" Wainwright began to adjust controls. "What will that do to the timegate?" Donald asked. "I have no idea!!" On the monitor screen, the ground about Rick and Dipsy lit up as if it was daylight. The Lovely Angels watched in stunned horror as the two twentieth-century soldiers looked up in question at the light source. "Oh, God, no!" Yuri whispered. "They can see it." "What the devil's that?!" Dipsy asked. "Dunno!!" Rick shook his head. "Could be a paraflare!" "Suit-up time," Dipsy shrugged. The two men proceeded to put a full-body suit over their combat uniforms. "No, no!" Yuri shook her head. "Move away!" "Donald!!" Kei yelled. "They can see the timegate!!" Donald looked at the screen in complete horror. "Oh, God! They must think this is some sort of attack exercise!" He turned to Wainwright "Shut the damn thing down!!" "I can't!!!" Wainwright shook his head. "The controls have solidified!!" Rick and Dipsy completed dressing, then placed old-style gas masks over their faces. The one-piece suit -a chemical warfare defence uniform - was closed up with a hood. Gloves went on, and the two men reached for their rifles and combat harnesses. "Strangest paraflare I've ever seen," Dipsy spoke, his voice partially masked by the gas mask. "Got that right!" Rick shook his head. A bank of computers blew outwards. "Power's gone to maximum!!" Wainwright yelled out. "Can you stop it?!?!" Donald asked. Wainwright shook his head. "I've no idea when this will end!!!" "I say," Dipsy looked about on the screen. "Did you hear something?" "Yeah!" Rick looked about. "Don't know where it came from!" "They can hear us!" Kei hissed. Yuri walked towards the central energy chamber. The energies inside had transformed from a black hole-like point into a tunnel of cascading energy. Looking back at the screen, she yelled out "CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?!" "There!!!" Dipsy cried out. "A woman's voice!!" "Yeah!!!" Rick yelled out. "Who the hell are you?!?!" "I CAN'T EXPLAIN!!!!" Yuri screamed. "MOVE INTO THE FOREST!!! GET AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!!" "What the deuce are you talking about?!?!" Dipsy responded. "Is there a danger?!" "YES!!!" Yuri nodded. Watching from the sidelines, Kei was stunned by the implications in what was happening. Two people, one trying to understand, the other trying to save the former - separated by a century-and-a-half of time and lightyears of space. Wainwright looked up from his monitor board. "Tidal forces increasing!!" "What does that mean?!" Kei asked. "The forces inside the timegate will begin drawing matter from the end of the vortex to the starting point!" Wainwright shook his head. "What's going on here?!?!" Rick yelled. "Is this some sort of space-warp?!" Dipsy asked. Yuri looked at Kei for a second, then nodded "YES!!!" "I think we should back off," Dipsy began to edge away from the clearing, pulling Rick back. "Thank you!" Yuri gasped. She looked into the vortex in the cubicle and let out a scream. "Yuri, what the...?!" Kei gasped, watching in complete disbelief as a green bag sailed out from the vortex, smashing through the plexiglass, and nearly knocking Yuri over! "Hey!!" Rick cried out. "My kitbag!!" "That's not all!" Dipsy said. "What's wrong?!?!" "Look down!!" In the twenty-second century, everyone looked. Rick and Dipsy were being pulled into the air! "Professor, for God's sake, shut the damn thing down!!!" Donald screamed. "Too late!!" Wainwright cried out. Everything blew apart. * * * Kei woke up sometime later. Getting to her feet, she saw the laboratory was in a complete shambles. Computers were knocked over and parts scattered all over the place. The central cubicle was a shattered skeleton of broken glass. The monitor screen was burnt out. The master control board was blown outward. Most of the people were thrown against the wall or scattered around the floor. Yuri was unconscious nearby. Donald and Professor Wainwright were nowhere to be seen. Kei moved carefully over to Yuri and nudged her foot into her partner's side. "Hey, Yuri, wake up!" "Huh?" Yuri's eyes fluttered open. "Wha'...wha' happened?" "I dunno!" Kei shook her head. Looking about, she noticed there were two blackened, humanoid shapes sprawled out on the floor nearby. "What the hell?" One of the forms began to move, slowly shifting into a crawling position. Kei walked over and asked "Are you okay?" "Dunno..." a muttering voice came out. Kei gasped "Rick?" "Huh?" a hand reached up and pulled off the gas mask. "How the heck do you know who I am?" Kei leaned down, pulled off the hood, then helped Rick over on his back. The soldier's eyes were closed, and his face was slightly scarred and burnt. Kei passed her hand through a thin mass of brown hair and asked "You okay?" "I...think so," Rick shook his head, opening his eyes. "Where am I, anyway?" "That...that's gonna be hard to explain," Kei gulped. Rick moved his head about in silent wonder, then focused on Kei's face. Staring hard, he asked "Michelle?" "No...no," Kei shook his head. "My name's Kei." "Oh," Rick nodded. Then, with practised precision, he said "Richard William Thomas, rank: sergeant, service number: IN8- 37476, unit: 1st Battalion The Royal Canadian Regiment." "Er...hi!" Kei sighed. Yuri leaned down beside the other form, and said "Are you alright?" Rick looked over at Kei's partner "You know, you look like my best friend's fiancee." "Fiancee?!" Yuri cried out. "Wha...what the devil happened?" Dipsy's voice called out. Yuri helped him to his side. Dipsy took off his mask to reveal a shock of blond hair and clear-blue eyes, the same shade as Rick's. His face had weathered the time gate better than his friend. Looking up at Yuri, he said "I say, are you the one that...?" "Yes," Yuri nodded. "My name's Yuri." "David James Doolittle, staff-sergeant with the 2nd Battalion of Her Majesty's Grenadier Guards." "Hi," Yuri nodded. Other people in the room began to awaken. Kei touched her earring "Mughi!" The Angels' pet growled in response. "Call the hospital and firefighters! Get them to Professor Wainwright's laboratory ASAP!! Step on it!" Mughi growled an affirmative and cut the line. Rick and Dipsy, in the meantime, scanned the shattered laboratory. Looking back at Kei, Rick asked "Where are we?" Kei looked at Rick for a second, wondering what to tell him. She settled on the truth. "You're in a laboratory on the planet Nova Albion. It's located in the S'hain star system, which, from Earth, is in the constellation of Cassiopeia." She suppressed a gulp as she added the worst part "The year is 2143." "Uh-boy!" Rick moaned. "Hey, Dips! We've just tripped into the Twilight Zone." Rick passed out. Dipsy looked up at Yuri, stunned horror and disbelief on his face. "Please forgive my friend. He's quite...excitable." He, too, passed out. Yuri looked at Kei - she looked back. Yuri got her voice first "Kei, how are we ever gonna explain this to Goulet?" "Ask me later," Kei shook her head. "I'm in a state of complete shock!" * * * Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in January 1993 **** **** **** CHAPTER FOUR - THE PAST-TIME CONSPIRACY "What the hell happened?!?!" Goulet screamed. Kei and Yuri were back onboard the "Lovely Angel." They had returned shortly after Rick Thomas and Dipsy Doolittle were sent to the Aberdeen Medical Centre. The doctors informed them that the two men survived the worst of the timegate - the biological-chemical defence gear shielded them against the hard radiation within the vortex. The two men suffered from a potent dose of gamma and delta radiation poisoning, but the doctors assured the Angels that full recovery was possible. With the two classical time refugees safely in medical care, the two women returned to report what had happened to their superior. "Like we told you," Kei sighed. "This Professor Wainwright created a time portal - a 'timegate,' he called it. It was only designed to give historians a window on the past. Something went wrong and two men from the twentieth century were brought through the vortex into the twenty-second." "I thought time-travel was impossible!" the DCA snapped. "So did we," Yuri shook her head. "Until three hours ago." Goulet sighed and sat back down in his office seat on Shimogu. "What do you propose?" "The Aberdeen Medical Centre is treating Rick and Dipsy for G- and D-radiation poisoning. Prognosis is a full recovery. Once they're released, we bring them to Shimogu and make them wards of the 3WA." "Fair enough," Goulet nodded. "Did Doctor Kubelstein get that information I asked for?" Kei asked. "He did," Goulet turned to look at his door. "Ah, here he is right now!" The DCA shifted in his seat to allow Doctor Richard Kubelstein a chance to look at the viewer. Kubelstein was the chief scientist with the 3WA's Criminal Division, and was responsible for many of the devices the Angels and other trouble consultant teams used on their various missions. An aging man in his mid-fifties, Kubelstein was the epitome of the serious researcher. "Good evening, ladies!" "Hi, Doc," Kei sighed. "Albert Wainwright and I are old acquaintances," Kubelstein sighed. "What do you want to know?" "Is he a proficient scientist?" Yuri asked. "Without a doubt," Kubelstein nodded. "Time-travel was his pet project for many years. I'm surprised he was able to pull it off so soon." "He had lots of financial help," Kei said. "My cousin Donald was his employer." "Was your cousin a history buff?" Goulet asked. Kei nodded. "Big time. Always fantasized being an old Scottish warlord fighting the clan wars of the Middle Ages." "Nice," Kubelstein nodded. "Listen, can you do me a favour?" "Sure," Yuri smiled. "Ask Albert if I could get a copy of his notes. Tell him I'd like to double-check some of his equations - so that nothing like this will happen again." "Fair enough," Kei nodded. "Good day, ladies," Kubelstein walked away from the monitor and left Goulet's office. The DCA turned to Kei and asked "Anything else?" "Did you do a background check on Rick and Dipsy?" "We did," Goulet typed out several commands on his deskboard. "First, Mister Thomas. Born 1966 in Pembroke, Ontario, Canada. Father and grandfather served with the Royal Canadian Regiment in World War Two and the Korean War. No brothers or sisters. Mother was a member of the Royal Canadian Army Medical Corps as a nurse. Joined the Canadian Forces primary reserve in 1984 with the Lanark and Renfrew Scottish Regiment. Transferred to the Regular Force the next year, and was assigned to the 1st Battalion of the Royal Canadian Regiment. Completed his airborne jump qualification in 1986, infantry section leader's course in 1987, and was promoted to sergeant by 1990. Served a tour with the Canadian Airborne Regiment 1986 - 1990. Did three tours of peacekeeping duties with the United Nations - Cyprus in 1987, the Golan Heights in 1989 and the Persian Gulf War in 1990 - 1991. Was due for promotion to warrant officer in 1994." "Any mention of a girlfriend?" Kei asked. "Only a brief one," Goulet looked down to his notes. "Michelle Wright. Born 1968 in Renfrew, Ontario, Canada. Nothing substantial about her parents, no other relatives. Supposedly met Thomas in high school in Pembroke, began dating soon afterward. She..." he paused. "What is it?" "She contracted the human immuno-deficiency virus in 1986 by a contaminated blood transfusion," Goulet looked back up, silent horror on his face. "The HIV virus?" Yuri gasped. "Was Thomas tested?" Goulet asked. "Yes," Kei nodded. "All tests negative." "Good," the DCA nodded. Even in the twenty-second century, mankind had still to come to full grips with the havoc unleashed by the HIV virus, one of the main causes of AIDS - the disease seen by most historians as the 'Black Plague of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries.' "What happened?" Kei asked, a tremor in her voice. "She...she committed suicide shortly after Thomas' disappearance," Goulet's voice broke. Kei closed her eyes to prevent the DCA from seeing her tears. Deciding to move to another topic, Yuri asked "And Dipsy?" Relieved, Goulet recomposed himself and began again. "David Doolittle, born 1966 in Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, England. Whole family was military - male members served in the old Guards Division or the Household Cavalry. Female members were usually either in the Queen Alexandria's Nursing Corps or the Women's Army Corps. Joined the British Army in 1983. Served initially with the 1st Battalion of the Grenadier Guards. Served with the 22nd Special Air Service Regiment 1985 - 1989. Served in peacekeeping roles in Cyprus in 1984 and again in 1990. Also served in the Gulf War with the 2nd Grenadier Guards. Promoted staff-sergeant in 1991 and would have been promoted to warrant officer 2nd class in 1993." "There was a fiancee mentioned?" Yuri asked. "Sharon Taneka. Born 1967 to Chinese and Japanese parents in Hong Kong. Migrated to England in 1974, met Doolittle in 1981, and became engaged in 1991. After his disappearance, she lived alone for the rest of her life, and passed away in 2033." Yuri shook her head. "Damn! The injustice of it all!" "I know," Goulet nodded. "When you bring these two here, I'll assign Madame Barr to help counsel them - Lord knows, they're gonna need it!" Madame Nicole Barr was one of the first trouble consultants with the 3WA, and currently served as Goulet's operational advisor. "Thanks," Kei sighed. "What happened to Donald and Professor Wainwright?" Goulet suddenly remembered a point on the Angels' report. "They were the first to recover. When they did, they went out to get help," Kei sighed. "Good enough," Goulet nodded. "Look, Chief, we're gonna call things a little early," Kei sighed. "We'll say good-bye to my family and bring Rick and Dipsy to Shimogu in a couple of days." "All right," the DCA nodded. "There's been no developments on the Crysostome case. I'll call Lucien Genetics up and tell them you'll be at Crysostome Station in eighty-four hours." "Got it," Kei nodded. "'Lovely Angel,' out." "3WA, out," Goulet nodded in return. Kei cut the transmission. "So, now what?" Yuri asked. "Let's visit the hospital," Kei sighed. "We'll get the guys out of there, say good-bye to Mom and the others, and trip out!" A tear rolled down her face. "You okay?" Yuri placed a hand on Kei's shoulder. "No," Kei shook her head. "I'm not gonna like telling Rick what happened to Michelle." "Who says you have to tell him?" "I do," Kei sighed, getting up. "I told myself to tell the truth, and I will." The two girls walked out of the cockpit and down the gangway off the ship. "I don't have to like it, though." Leaving the hangar where the 'Lovely Angel' was docked, the Angels heard a roar of repulsorlifts. Looking down the access road, Kei and Yuri spotted Jennifer in a hovercar racing up at top speed. Jennifer braked the vehicle in front of the two girls "Get in!!!" "What's wrong?!?!" Kei hopped into the passenger seat. "It's Aunt Mary!!" Jennifer gasped, tears running down her eyes. "She's been murdered!!!" * * * The hovercar returned to Castle Stuart at top speed. Once in front of the entranceway, Yuri asked "Have the police been informed?!" "Aunt Elizabeth's summoned them!" Jennifer ran up the stairs to the front door. "They should be here by now!!!" Running inside, they took the stairs three at a time to the upper floor. Turning a corner, they ran to the door leading into Mary Stuart's study. Kei and Yuri drew their weapons. Jennifer looked from one to the other and said "What is it?" "Just being cautious," Kei whispered. "God, now I know why everyone calls you 'Dirty Pair!'" Jennifer hissed. "You two sit on a trigger all the time!!" "Good survival tactic!" Yuri smiled. "Let's go!" The door was opened, and the two 3WA trouble consultants sprang through, weapons at the ready. They scoped the room in a second, taking in all the details. The body of Mary Stuart laid on the floor, a neat red hole in the middle of her head. Yuri sidestepped over to the body, and made a quick examination. Kei did a circle of the room, and then relaxed. There was one other door leading out of the study - it led into Mary's bedroom. "Jennifer, go check in there," Kei nodded. Jennifer drew her own weapon - an electromag like Yuri's - and opened the bedroom door. Kei and Yuri were busy scoping the room for clues, so they were only paying half-attention to Jennifer. They sensed something wrong when Jennifer's voice spoke out "What are you two doing here...?!" A shot rang out. The Angels reacted quickly to what happened, and were through the door in a second. Before they could see what was happening, Donald Stuart's voice spoke out "Uh-uh! Would you two be so kind as to put those weapons down!" * * * "Donald, what the hell's the meaning of this?!?!" Kei snarled. Both Lovely Angels had their weapons in hand. Inside Mary Stuart's bedroom, Donald had Alice as a hostage, with a particle cannon similar to Kei's pointed right at her head. Beside him, Professor Wainwright had another electromag in hand. On the floor was the unconscious form of Kei's mother beside a vidphone. In front of them, Jennifer was rolling about, her hand gripping a bleeding shoulder. Her own weapon was safely in Wainwright's pocket. "First, put your weapons down!" Donald snapped. "Now...or Alice get's a new ear!!!" Kei and Yuri looked at each other, then slowly placed their weapons down on the ground. "Fine enough!" Donald sighed. "Now, back into the study! All of you!!!" Kei and Yuri leaned down to help Jennifer to her feet. They backed into the study, with Professor Wainwright covering them with his gun. Donald followed, with Alice in tow. "Mind telling us what's going on?!" Yuri asked. "In time," Donald sighed. He shoved Alice towards Kei, then backed towards the door to close it. "Time!" Kei snarled. "So that's what this is all about!!" "Wha...?!" Wainwright gasped. "The timegate!" Kei sighed. "It was intended for transporting people in the first place, wasn't it?!" "My, aren't we perceptive!" Donald nodded in admiration. "Yes, Kei, it was designed to transport people - but not from the past to the present!" "You intend to go back in time!" Yuri gasped, the full implications hitting home. "You want to change history!!!" "Of course!!" Donald laughed. "I, a select group and the Professor, will proceed very soon through another timegate apparatus. I would think the late Middle Ages would be a good time to start! In addition, we'll take back enough modern technology to aid us!!" "Why?!?!" Alice snapped. "So you can carve an empire of yuir own?!" "Of course!" Donald laughed. "I'll start in Scotland! Make the Stuart clan the most powerful in the nation! Then conquer England and Ireland, and from there, the rest of Europe!! You know what happens in the late 1400s! The discoverers - Columbus, da Gama, Cabot, Magellan! They go out and with their ships and their Christian determination, rape and slaughter the entirety of the New World!! I intend to stop that!!" "Aunt Mary stumbled on to what you were doing!" Kei snapped back. "You had to silence her to prevent interference!!" "Yes, that was unfortunate!" Donald sighed. "Consider it, though! The destruction of the Amerind cultures - the Iroquois, the Incas, the Astecs and the Mayans, not to count numerous others! The forced colonization of Africa and India!! The subduing of the far eastern powers - China, Japan, Korea and the rest!!! I intend to stop that - to show humanity there was another way!!" "You want to become the new Messiah!" Yuri sighed. "That is a possibility," Donald mused. "And to help you ensure that it was safe, you used Rick and Dipsy as guinea pigs!!" Kei growled. "A necessity!" Wainwright shrugged. "Damn you!!!" Kei hissed. "Did you know those two had families! They had girlfriends and people who cared for them?!?! Didn't you care?!?!" "That's soon to become a very trivial point," Donald chuckled. * * * Rick and Dipsy were secured in a private ward on the upper level of the Aberdeen Medical Centre. Both had undergone radiation therapy, and were resting. They were somewhat conscious during the procedure, and had overheard conversation between their doctor and several of the nurses. It was enough to convince the two men that what happened to them *really* happened - they were now in the year 2143 on a planet inhabited by human colonists light years from Earth. The shock of that confirmation had finally evaporated, and the two men, nearly insensate from their experiences, were now sleeping it off. Both were still in their beds as a nurse came in to administer medication. The administering device was a hypo-gun, far less painful than a needle. Walking up to the sink beside Rick's bed, the nurse dumped out the injection formula, and then inserted the cartridge into the gun. She turned to the unconscious soldier in the bed... * * * Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in January 1993 **** **** **** CHAPTER FIVE - BUG-OUT! ...and before she could administer the injection, Rick's foot kicked the hypo-gun out of her hand! The nurse tried to back off, but Rick moved like greased lightning! He had her in a headlock within a second, with the right hand poised over the woman's face, ready to snap the neck at the first sign of trouble. He hissed "What was that for?" "I...I dinnae...!" the nurse whimpered. "Dipsy, you awake?" Rick asked. "I'm here," Dipsy's eyes opened up as he sat up on the bed. "Why were you trying to kill us?!" Rick snapped at the nurse. "I...I...!" the nurse gasped. "Don't try to deny it! I may be an infantryman by trade, but I know that fresh air injected into the blood stream causes a nearly untraceable stroke!!" Rick put pressure on the woman's forehead to emphasize his point. "Now, why?!?!" "I...I have orders." "From who?!?!" "I cannae tell ye!!" the nurse cried out. "He'll kill me!!!" "I'll kill you right here and now!!" Rick snarled. "Name!!" "I...Donald! Donald Stuart!!" "A Scotsman?" Dipsy asked. "Probably!" Rick sighed. "Overhearing everybody when we were in triage, I figured this planet was settled by Scots." "Please...please dinnae...!" the nurse whimpered, collapsing to her knees, dragging Rick down. Rick relaxed his grip, which gave her the chance to break free. She wheeled about and slammed a fist into his gut. Rick stumbled back, stunned by the force of the blow. The nurse spun around to grab the hypo-gun, but a scalpel sailed through the air and rammed through an eye socket. She dropped into a heap on the ground. Rick got back to his feet "Thanks!" "How many times have I got to tell you not to be sympathetic with terrorists?!" Dipsy snapped. "She could've had you if that scalpel wasn't here." "Okay, okay, not everyone's an expert on terrorists like you are!" Rick sighed, looking about the hospital room. "Now, where the heck are our clothes?" "What do you intend to do?" Dipsy asked. "I'm on pure adrenaline now, Dips!" Rick sighed. "All I figure is that we get out of this hospital, off this planet and go somewhere safe!!" "We have no idea where a safe place would be!" Dipsy sighed. "Yeah, we don't!" Rick looked about the room, stumbling on a wall computer unit. "But those two girls that brought us here might!" "Kei and Yuri? The ones that look like Michelle and Sharon?" "Exactly," Rick took a closer examination of the machine. On it was marked 'BURLINGTON CR-923 CLOTHING REPLICATOR.' "Hey, Dips! Check this out!" "A clothing replicator?!" Dipsy looked at the machine. "Yeah!" Rick laughed. "Just like 'Star Trek!'" "That's fine!" Dipsy scanned the controls. "How do we turn the thing on?!" The two men looked up and down the machine. Rick spotted the power on/off button and pressed it. A male computer voice asked "*Working. Type of clothing?*" "Mens casual," Rick said. "*Type and pattern?*" "Golf shirt, 2XL. Track pants, open leg, XL. Running shoes, size 11 1/2 E. White running socks, same size." "*Acknowledged.*" The replicator got to work immediately. A minute later, after a tiny *ding!* the central service hatch opened, to reveal the clothing Rick had requested. He took out the clothing as the computer asked "*Further request?*" "Yes," Dipsy nodded. "*Type of clothing?*" "Same as before. Mens causal. Same order as before. Alter shoe and sock size to 12D." "*Acknowledged,*" the replicator made up Dipsy's clothing. "*Further request?*" "Negative," Dipsy nodded. "Thank you." He then shut off the machine. The two men dressed immediately. Once that was done, Dipsy asked "What about her?" nodding over to the nurse. Rick looked about the room "Closet?" "Fair enough," Dipsy shrugged. The two men picked up the dead form and moved her to stand upright in the closet. Closing the door, Dipsy jammed it with a chair. Turning to Rick, he asked "Now what?" "We're outta this joint!" Rick sighed. "Let's go!" The two men walked out of the room. Once in the hallway, they noted the place was deserted. Aberdeen Medical Centre was built on the same principle as most hospitals in the twentieth century, although some of the department names confused the two soldiers. They found their way to an elevator, pressed the down button, and waited. Once the car arrived, they hopped in, pressed the button for the first floor, and descended. Reaching their destination, Rick and Dipsy were relieved to find the ground floor of the hospital as deserted as the fourth. The two men followed exit signs to the front door, where they spotted a single security guard. Reclining himself into a cove, Dipsy asked "Now what?" "Well, we could just walk out of here!" Rick shrugged. "The guy doesn't have to believe we're patients here." "We could pretend that we're out-patients." Rick shook his head "Too late in the evening." The clock on a nearby wall said 21:20. "We'll pretend we're visitors for a patient here." Dipsy nodded "Good idea." The two men sauntered out into the lobby and proceeded to pass the guard. As they walked by, the guard stood up "Who are ye'?" "We're visitors," Dipsy explained immediately. "Visitin' hours ended an hour ago!" the guard spoke out. "Oh, really?" Dipsy shook his head in mock confusion. "We didn't notice." Before the guard could say anything further, Dipsy's hand chopped at the base of his neck. The guard was knocked out immediately. "Dreadfully sorry about that." The two soldiers sat the unconscious load on his chair. With practised precision, they searched the pockets, producing a wallet. Dipsy took the guard's electromag in hand while Rick searched through the contents. Some of that was completely confusing to the two twentieth-century men, but there was change and paper money. Rick took all of that and slipped it into his pocket. "What about him?" Dipsy asked. "Leave the gun behind," Rick notioned. "When he wakes up, he'll think it was a dream." "Good point." Once the guard was back in place, the two men noted a vidphone on the wall, with the notation "ABERDEEN TAXI SERVICE DIRECT-DIAL." Picking up the phone, Rick waited until the other end responded "Can we have a taxi please?" "Your location?" a friendly female voice asked. "The hospital." "There is one unit at your location." "Thanks," Rick hung up the phone. To Dipsy, he shrugged "A computer, I suppose." "Doesn't surprise me," the two men walked out of the hospital. "They were computerizing everything back in our time." Once outside, Rick and Dipsy noticed a hovercar with a taxi light over the cab had driven up in front of the doors. The two men noted there was no driver inside. Getting in, Rick asked "Where's the control box?" "*Destination, please,*" the hovercar's computer intoned. "Where is the nearest tourist information booth to this location?" Dipsy asked. "*New Aberdeen Spaceport,*" the computer responded. "Do you take cash?" "*Yes.*" "Price of the journey?" "*Ten pounds, forty-five shillings.*" Dipsy sighed. Nova Albion used the old British monetary system, thus the bills and coinage, although different in design, was in similar notations. Dipsy counted out the change, and asked "Where's the deposit box?" A side hatch opened up. Dipsy inserted the money, and the computer said "Thank you." Ten minutes later, the taxi arrived at the main foyer of the Spaceport. The two men disembarked and walked inside. New Aberdeen Spaceport had a distant resemblance to Toronto's Pearson International Airport, thus Rick and Dipsy did not feel lost. The Tourist Information booth - a fully automated one - was located on the ground floor. Walking up, Rick looked about "Hello?" A computer screen came on, and a generic female travel consultant appeared. "*May I help you?*" "Er...two things," Dipsy said. "First of all, where is a Mister Donald Stuart currently residing?" "*Castle Stuart. There is direct taxi service to the castle.*" "Thank you. Second question. We're looking for two people - two ladies named Kei and Yuri. Neither of us have any idea of their last names or where they live. We suspect they may be either residents or visitors here." "*Please stand by. Accessing resident listings,*" the computer went blank for a second, then came back on. "*Negative resident listing on either 'Kei' or 'Yuri.' Accessing visitor list.*" The computer went blank again, then came back. "*Confirmed on visitor list. Niogami, Kei and Yochimitsu, Yuri. 3WA trouble consultant team code-named Lovely Angels. Guests of the Stuart family at Castle Stuart. 3WA ship 'Lovely Angel' docked at Hangar Seven.*" "Thank you," Dipsy nodded. The computer went blank as the two men walked away. "Now where the heck's Hangar Seven?" Rick asked. "Let's find out," Dipsy spotted a station locator diagram. A quick check revealed that Hangar Seven was located at the far end of the spaceport. There was one access road leading there. The access road connected to the main highway leading to Aberdeen City and Castle Stuart. "How far is that?" Rick asked. "I'd say two, maybe three, kilometres," Dipsy shrugged. "Not bad," Rick nodded. "Let's go." * * * "A trivial point?" Kei asked. "Yes," Donald smiled. "We don't want any witnesses. Besides, both those men would've been declared dead long ago. No effect on history whatsoever." "You bastard!!" Kei snapped. The vidphone on the desk signalled. Donald backed off and picked it up. "What is it?" A second, then "What?!?! What do you mean 'they escaped?!?!'" Five seconds more "Find them!! I don't care how!!!" Two seconds "It's shouldn't be so much of a problem! They're from the twentieth century - they'd be totally lost here!!!" While Donald was talking, Yuri left hand drifted to her collar. Wainwright was paying attention to Kei. Yuri touched her earring communicator, hoping Mughi would listen in. At the same time, she was reaching for the one weapon neither Donald nor the professor knew she had. "...I don't care, just find them!!" Donald snapped. "Report when you've eliminated them!" He slammed the vidphone on the desk. Wainwright was distracted enough by the noise for Yuri to act. She flipped her wrist, and the Bloody Card sailed forth. The strip of tengoid metal streaked through the air, slashing Donald's exposed wrist. The heir cried out in pain, causing Wainwright to spin around and look. Kei reacted immediately, slamming her foot into the professor's outstretched hand. That was knocked up into the path of the Bloody Card, and Wainwright got a viscous cut from the razor edge. The professor dropped the electromag, which was scooped up by Kei as the Card returned to Yuri's hand. Kei trampled over Wainwright and delivered a savage uppercut to Donald's chin. To ensure the scientist would not cause further trouble, Yuri rabbit-punched him in the face. The Lovely Angels, with Alice and Jennifer, sprang into the bedroom. Kei reached down and scooped up her insensate mother from the floor. Yuri grabbed their weapons and passed Kei's particle gun to Alice. Yuri tapped her communicator "Mughi!" The cat growled over the line. "Start the 'Angel' up!!! We're bustin' outta this place!!" Mughi howled in delight and cut the transmission. The four women ran into the main foyer and out the front door. Running down the stairs at top speed, they scrambled into the hovercar and, with Kei driving, sped off from the castle. "Kei, we have to destroy Wainwright's lab!" Yuri snapped. "I know, I know!!" Kei yelled back. "We'll worry about that when we're on our way!!!" * * * Feeling in good enough shape, Rick and Dipsy jogged the three kilometres to Hangar Seven in under fifteen minutes. They had to scale over a closed fence, which was no problem since it had no electrical defenses. Walking up to the huge structure, they tried to find an access door inside. There was none on the front face of the building, so the two men ran around both sides to the back. There was a single door, which was locked. The two men tried forcing the door open, but it would not budge. "Terrific!!" Rick snapped. "Now I wished we had that gun!!" "Now what?" Dipsy asked. Rick shrugged, then knocked on the door. The noise of hollow steel was transmitted through the air to an external sensor on the "Lovely Angel." The sensor relayed the noise to the ship's computer, and alerted Mughi. The bear-cat looked at the readout in confusion, then, suspecting it was Kei and Yuri, let down the gangway. Mughi ran out of the ship and went to the back door. With a flash of his claws, the doorknob was ripped away, and it came open. Before Mughi could do anything else, a hand grabbed the door and flung it all the way. Two men tore into the hangar - and ran over Mughi. The big animal howled in pain as his tail and body were trampled on. Rick and Dipsy tripped over Mughi and the three collapsed in a heap on the hangar floor. "What the hell...?!?!" Rick yelled. "I say!" Dipsy snapped. "What the deuce is this?" "Dunno!" Rick tried to get back on his feet. "Feels like some sort of animal!" Dipsy fumbled back towards the door, and found a lightswitch. Turning the light on, he turned about and looked directly into Mughi's face. Dipsy screamed out in shock at the alien sight, which caused Mughi to panic as well. The big bear- cat fell back, nearly running over Rick in the process. "Get offa me!!!" Rick snapped, and tried to kick out with his legs. The two ended up in a heap on the ground. "Oh, nicely done!" Dipsy shook his head. "Damn thing weighs a ton!!" Rick groaned. To Mughi, Dipsy asked "Er...do you mind getting off my friend?" Responding to the quiet tone, Mughi complied. Rick moved into a sitting position as the Angels' pet moved up and began sniffing him. Rick looked over at the droopy face, and scratched Mughi's forehead. The big cat purred in delight - it was his favourite spot. "I say?" Dipsy asked. "Is this the 'Lovely Angel?'" Mughi looked at Dipsy and nodded. Rick looked around and up to take in the view. "Wow!!! Whatta hotrod!!" "Where, then, may I ask, are Miss Kei and Miss Yuri?" Dipsy added. Mughi shrugged. At that moment, the ship's communication system picked up a transmission from Kei. It relayed the message to outside speakers. "Mughi?!?!" The big cat growled in response. "We're at the airport perimeter!" Kei reported. "Get the ship moving!!" Mughi howled in response, then bounded back to the "Angel." "That's our ticket outta this place!!" Rick hopped to his feet. The two men followed Mughi into the "Angel." They collapsed into the cockpit as Mughi pressed controls to start the engine. The whine of repulsorlifts filled the ship as she began to levitate in the air. A signal sounded off. "'Lovely Angel,' this is Nova Albion Traffic Control. Ye've not been granted take-off clearance!!" Rick looked around and asked "Where's the channel?" Mughi pressed the response control. "Nova Albion Traffic Control, this is 'Lovely Angel.' We've gotta leave now, so, if you don't mind, would you please open the hangar doors." "'Lovely Angel,' yuir prohibited from departure," the controller responded. "On whose orders?!" Dipsy asked. "Mister Donald Stuart." "Well, would you be so kind as to put Mister Stuart on please," Dipsy snapped. The communication board went silent. Rick looked at Mughi "Does this thing have any weapons?!" The Angels' pet growled in response, and thumbed a trigger. On the ship's underbelly, a missile rack popped open. Two air- to-surface missiles flew out. They impacted on the hangar doors, disintegrating them. With the way now clear, Mughi guided the "Lovely Angel" out of the hangar and into the open air. Once outside, the two men in the cockpit noticed a hovercar was waiting for them. "Mughi!" Kei's voice barked over the communications board. "Open the hatch!" Mughi responded immediately, and the gangway was lowered. The five people in the hovercar got out and ran into the ship. A second later, Kei, Yuri, Alice, Jennifer and Elizabeth entered the cockpit. Kei was the first to notice the two other people there. "What're you guys doin' here?!?!" "Looking for you," Rick responded. "Nice time period you people live in." "Yes," Dipsy got up to allow Yuri to sit down. "Is it normal for visitors to face assassination attempts when they come to this place?!" "Not really," Kei sat down in the co-pilot's seat. "But then again, it's not normal for people to be dragged through a timewarp from the twentieth century to the twenty-second!" The "Lovely Angel" soared into the air. Once at a decent altitude, Yuri guided the ship over to where Professor Wainwright's laboratory was located. As it came into view, Yuri armed several more missiles and sent them off. Two seconds later, they impacted on the mountaintop, utterly destroying it. "Nice shot!" Kei smiled. Looking back, she asked "Mom, does Wainwright have any other labs around the place?" "There's a small one at the castle," Elizabeth shook her head. "But I dinnae think it would have anything of value!" "Can't take the chance!" Kei sighed. "Where is it?" "In the south-west tower," Alice spoke out. Yuri guided the ship around to bear on the castle. In a wink, the south-west tower, along with a good portion of the castle itself, disintegrated into dust. Once that was done, Yuri sent the ship into orbit. The communications board came on. "'Lovely Angel,' come in." "Donald?!?!" Kei snapped. "You won't get away with this!!!" Donald growled. "Destroying a clan-sponsored laboratory and a good section of the castle!!" He chuckled, then rubbed it in "Dirty Pair!" "That's 'Lovely Angels' to you, jerk!!" Kei yelled. "Besides, I don't see what you're laughing about!" Yuri added. "We've wrecked your labs and destroyed the timegate mechanism!" "Oh, I wouldn't be relaxing if I were you," Donald snickered. "What is destroyed can be rebuilt!" "Not if the 3WA has anything to say about it!" Kei snapped back. "I wouldn't think so," Donald burst out laughing. Rick, listening in on the conversation, had enough of Donald's arrogance. He spoke out "Hey, jerk!!" "Who's this?" "Sergeant Rick Thomas of the Canadian Forces," Rick responded. "You know, one of the two guys your little toy dragged here!" "Yes?" "I've got some advice for ya." "And that is?" "Watch your back," Rick chuckled. "One day, either Dipsy or I'll be there, and you'll have a knife or gun to contend with!" Donald laughed out loud. "I won't worry, then!" "Why not?" Kei asked. "Because your two friends were not treated for radiation poisoning," Donald laughed. "They'll be dead within five days!! Farewell, Dirty Pair!" He cut off the transmission. "Lovely Angels!!!" Kei and Yuri screamed. "Uh-oh!" Rick gulped. To Kei, he asked "I trust there's a medical facility somewhere nearby?" Kei looked at Yuri "Optima?" Yuri nodded "It's our only chance." "What's that?" Dipsy asked. "A Lucien Genetics research laboratory," Yuri explained, forgetting the fact Rick or Dipsy would not know what that meant. Looking at the computer, she said "We can be there in four hours." "Do it!" Kei nodded. "I'll call Goulet and tell him what happened!" As the "Lovely Angel" leapt into hyperspace, Kei turned around and looked at her mother "Some family reunion, huh?" * * * Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in January 1993 **** **** **** CHAPTER SIX - INCIDENT AT CRYSOSTOME "Are you leaving?" Jennifer asked. Half a day after leaving Nova Albion, the "Lovely Angel" sat secured alongside Optima Station. This place, a O'Neil class station similar to the Kalevela, was the main research complex for Lucien Genetics, one of the ten largest businesses in the United Galactica. The Angels came here since Optima's scientists were the most learned in the field of genetic engineering. Rick and Dipsy had been rushed into emergency treatment for the doses of gamma and delta radiation they had taken while passing through the timegate. While they waited, Kei and Yuri put in an updated report to Goulet on what happened on Nova Albion. Both girls were hoping that the DCA would send them back to Nova Albion to settle business with Donald Stuart and Albert Wainwright. The Angels were now about to board their ship to receive their new orders. "Yeah," Kei sighed. "We left one hell of a mess back on Nova Albion. Besides, I'm worried about the threat Donald made about another timegate apparatus." "There was only the one lab," Alice nodded. "After ye levelled the place, I dinnae think that Wainwright or Donald'll have the chance to make another of those infernal machines for the time being." "For everyone's sake, I hope so," Yuri said. Looking at Jennifer, she asked "What happens now that Mary's dead?" "Donald's head of the clan," Jennifer shrugged. "Not much people can do about it." "Even if he murdered his grandmother?" "It's the old story," Jennifer sighed. "It's your word against his. And I'll tell you this -your reputation doesn't give your case much hope." "Damn!!" Kei swore. "I'll see that bastard dead if its the last thing I do!!" "Get in line," Alice cracked. At that moment, Elizabeth walked up with Doctor Yoshi Taneka, the director of Optima. Taneka was one of the five leading geneticists in the galaxy, who trained under the legendary Albert Lucien, the founder of the genetic firm of the same name. The doctor was a short man, barely up to Yuri's chest, with near black eyes and solid silver hair. "What's the news, Doctor?" Kei asked. "Very good," Taneka nodded. "Mister Thomas and Mister Doolittle have a very good chance of recovery. As per the 3WA's request, they are being genetically enhanced to the 5B system." "Great!" Kei smiled. The Lucien 5B genetic system was the genetic upgrade 3WA trouble consultants were enhanced to upon joining. "There is a small problem, however," Taneka sighed. "That is?" "Well, Mister Thomas and Mister Doolittle are both from the late twentieth century. In evolutionary terms, they're a century and a half behind us, notwithstanding the genetic upgrading done. I would like to propose a further upgrade." "To what?" Yuri asked. "What we tenitavely call the 10B-X system," Taneka guided the Angels to a nearby computer outlet. Typing in commands, he explained further "The 10B-X is a combination cybernetic-genetic system that would transform your two friends into the ultimate super-soldier." "What improvements are you talking about?" Kei asked. "Enhanced eye, ear and nasal sensory apparatus. Tengoid metal sheathing of the bones. Continued enhancement of muscular, cardiovascular and respiratory systems to 7G levels - the highest currently offered. Sheathing the inner epidermis with anti-NBC defenses. Internal respiratory screening against gaseous CB agents or fallout. Finally, a combat computer mated to the inner mind, which will allow them micro-second reaction timing, and hand-touch relay linkups in the fingertips to access computers." "Why not microsoft plugs?" Yuri asked. Almost everyone in the United Galactica had special cybernetic microsoft plug-ins behind each ear. This alleviated the necessity of mouse or keyboard systems. "Plugs are vulnerable to outside interference," Taneka replied. "Tell me about it," Kei sighed, remembering an ugly incident during the Kalevela case. "Does Rick or Dipsy know what you want to do?" "I have talked it over with them," the scientist nodded. "They seemed willing to undergo the operation - depending, of course, on 3WA support." "We'll ask Administrator Goulet," Kei nodded. "I'm sure you'll get approval for it." "Very good," Taneka nodded. "We'll commence preparations." "How long with this all take?" Yuri asked. "The surgery will take two days. Another five for cellular regeneration. Once that's done, we can turn them over to the 3WA for field testing." "We'll tell him that, also." "Good. Then you'll be leaving for Shimogu?" "No," Kei shook her head. "We're going either to Nova Albion or Crysostome." "Ah, yes, the robbery," Taneka nodded. "Well, then, good luck to the both of you." With that, he turned about and returned to the laboratory section. The five women proceeded to the "Lovely Angel." "What will you do?" Kei asked her mother. "We'll go to Niogi," Elizabeth sighed. "There, we'll wait with your father until you go back to Nova Albion and settle this business with Donald." "Yeah!" Kei sighed, the harrowing experiences of the last day weighing heavily on her shoulders. Mother and daughter embraced and farewells were made. The Angels then boarded their ship and began manoeuvres for departure. In five minutes, the "Angel" was underway from Optima. At that time, a signal was received from Goulet. "What's up, Chief?" Kei asked. "You're not allowed to return to Nova Albion," the DCA explained. "Donald?" "I suppose," he shrugged. "The planetary president accuses you two of destroying a laboratory and part of Castle Stuart without provocation." "Figures!" Yuri snapped. "Will another team be sent there." Goulet shook his head. "No. Nova Albion has withdrawn from the 3WA charter. Legally, we cannot go there on official business." "So now what?" Kei asked. "We wait. In the meantime, I've gotten a call from Doctor Taneka regarding your friends. Approval for experimental 10B-X upgrading was given by the Brigadier." "Finally! Some good news!" Yuri sighed. "What about us?" "You're off to Crysostome," Goulet nodded. "Deputy Director Grissholm will meet you there and explain what happened." "Got it!" Kei smiled. "'Lovely Angel,' out and on our way." "Good luck!" the DCA smiled before cutting the transmission. * * * A day later, the ship assumed orbit over Crysostome Station. Unlike Optima, Crysostome was a twin-wheel type station in orbit over a dead planet in a very remote part of the galaxy. This location was chosen to serve both as the headquarters of Lucien Genetics and as a storage facility for top secret work. Once in orbit, the ship received a standard hail from the traffic control centre. Kei activated the viewscreen to hear a crisp male voice state "Approaching ship, this is Crysostome Traffic Control. Come in please." The image on the screen solidified immediately into the face of a young man dressed in Lucien coveralls, the name 'Mitch' stitched on his breast. Kei was attracted to him immediately - one of her greatest failings was that she was an impossible flirt - and responded "Crysostome Control, this is 'Lovely Angel.' Go ahead." "Registration code, callsign and homeport, please," Mitch responded. Kei smiled, then said "Okay, Crysostome. Registration code is 3WA23416R. Callsign is Amor. Homeport is the headquarters 3WA on Shimogu." "Roger," Mitch's eyes cast down to his keyboard. Kei glanced at Yuri, expecting that this guy would be like the rest, and panic when he found out they were the Dirty Pair. A *ding!* was head, but this time, Mitch looked up and asked "Did you say 'Lovely Angel?'" "Er...yes," Kei looked at him in confusion. "*The* Lovely Angels?!?!" "Yes," Kei smiled. Mitch's looks transformed, first from surprise to complete astonishment and then to something the Angels rarely saw from anyone - total hero worship! "Wow!!!" he exhaled. Kei managed a smile back. "The Lovely Angels!! Man, I've always wanted to meet you two!" "Where did you hear of us?" Yuri interjected. "I'm from Pacifica, and well, my father was one of the big- shots in charge at the time, you know, when you two visited us to help with that bio-weapons case...you do remember, don't you?!" Mitch looked between Kei and Yuri. Kei glanced quickly at her partner, Yuri nodded in return. The bio-weapons case on Pacifica was on of the Angels better efforts - meaning very little collateral damage or civilian casualties. "Thank you," Yuri nodded. "That was one of our better cases." "Tell me about it!" Mitch shook his head. "I mean, when Dad told me that the 'Dirty Pair' was visiting...I mean, he was in a major panic!! Then you two show up, clean out the problem, and except for that ruckus downtown, no one gets hurt!" Kei smiled again. "Well, much as we would like to discuss this, we haven't the time. We have business here. So, if you don't mind, can we get our docking clearance, please." "Oh...oh, yeah!" Mitch remembered. "Sorry about that." He looked down on his deskboard. "You're clear for Dock Seven." "Thanks," Kei nodded. "See you later." "Count on it!" Mitch smiled, then cut the transmission. "Talk about a small galaxy!" Yuri exclaimed. "This job's gonna be easy!" Kei flashed her partner a thumbs-up. They proceeded to dock the "Lovely Angel" at the designated bay. * * * The Lovely Angels entered Traffic Control's reception area, where Mitch was waiting. "ID, please," he shrugged, as if saying "Sorry, but this is a formality." Both girls smiled as they fished their ID cards out of their tops. Mitch did not give them a second glance "Thank you." "Someone was supposed to meet us?" Yuri asked. "A moment, please," Mitch turned around to his deskpad. "They're here." "We're on our way," a woman's voice responded. Several minutes later, two men and a woman walked into the reception lounge. They were dressed in Lucien Genetics power suits. The woman asked "Miss Kei? Miss Yuri?" "That's us," Kei nodded. "Welcome to Crysostome Station," the woman smiled. She was in her late twenties, with blond hair and blue-green eyes. "I'm Mary Grissholm, deputy director of Lucien and supervisor of Crysostome. These," she indicated to the two men beside her, "are my assistants, Peter Scott and Hugh Gilbert." Greetings and handshakes were exchanged. "Why is it that you asked for us?" Yuri inquired immediately. "And why did you call us here without giving any information as to what happened?" "I apologize for the secrecy, ladies, but the incident that prompted our contacting the 3WA necessitated it." With that, Mary lead Kei and Yuri out of the reception lounge and to an elevator. Once inside the car, she began to explain the problem at hand... Lucien Genetics was currently engaged in the development of a new genetic upgrading system - the 8A-X. It was still in the testing stages. Three weeks before, one of the storage bays at Crysostome was broken into, and the materials for the 8A-X, which had recently arrived from Optima and other Lucien research labs, were stolen. The Angels began to think. Yuri spoke out first "It could possibly be terrorists." "Or industrial espionage," Kei nodded. "Mary, did anyone get pictures of the intruders?" "Unfortunately, no," Hugh spoke out. "Whoever planned this job must have had inside help." "Have you done a security check?" "On everyone," Peter nodded. "Everyone checked clean." "Records may have been altered to throw people off the scent," Yuri mused as the elevator car arrived at the lowermost storage level. "They may have not needed inside help, anyway," Kei nodded as the group walked out and down the hall. "Mary, how's the security here." "Not very good," the deputy director shook her head. "The security of Crysostome is provided by its remoteness from the rest of the galaxy. Supporting a massive security contingent here was seen by the board of directors as a waste of time and money." "They'll probably reconsider that," Hugh sighed. "Ah! Here we are." The group arrived at a large hatchway marked STORAGE AREA 7A - TOP SECRET. The door did not appear to have been forced, nor was there indications of foul play. Peter keyed the controls and the doors silently parted. The Angels walked in to see a large cargo storage area filled with boxes, containers and other objects. A fine coat of dust was on the floor, criss-crossed with a multitude of footprints. There were clear spots on the floor - where the missing equipment seemed to have been taken. "Let's take a look," Kei walked inside. Before she could say or do anything else, a hissing noise drew the Angels' attention to the floor. From behind them, rolled three metal canisters, each spewing a green cloud. "Knockout gas!!" Yuri screamed. It was too late - the two women passed out immediately. * * * Kei regained consciousness sometime later. Carefully, she looked around. Both Lovely Angels were still in Storage Area 7A. Their hands were bound by electrocuffs behind their back. Their weapons were missing. Becoming aware of voices, Kei moved herself around to see who was talking. Lining all sides of the room was a mixed bag of robots, mercs and other riff-raff that would be expected whenever incidents like this happened. In addition, Mary, Peter and Hugh - Kei assumed they were androids - stood inhumanly still off to one side. In the direction of Kei's feet stood three people - a "smiley" mech, an elderly gentleman and a woman. The elderly man noticed that his prisoners were awake "Ah, the infamous Dirty Pair have returned to the land of the conscious." "Who are you?" Kei snapped. "I?!" he pointed to himself. "Ah! My apologies, Miss Kei. I seemed to have forgotten my manners. My name is Kirkpatrick. Professor Edward Kirkpatrick." Walking about, he continued "You may not know of me, Miss Kei, but I do believe you are familiar with my work." "And that is?" Yuri asked. "My work, Miss Yuri, is genetic engineering - specifically the construction of artificial bio-organic constructs. I do believe the *gauche* term 'bioroid' is used instead of the more proper title." "Bio...?!" Kei gasped. *Now* she remembered where she heard the professor's name. "You're the one that was in charge of the project...!!" "That's right, Kei," the woman beside Kirkpatrick turned around. "Shasti!" Yuri gasped. The first - and only - bioroid trouble consultant to date, Shasti had worked with the Angels on a mission three years before. The mission - to intercept a dangerous criminal named Lacombe - ended in total disaster, with Shasti turning renegade, her partner Deidre Hollander dead, and the Angels severely wounded. That, along with the enormous expense of Shasti's creation, forced the 3WA to cease further research into the use of bioroids as trouble consultants. "Why do you want us?" Kei asked. "Why?" Kirkpatrick answered. "Revenge, Miss Kei! Pure and simple revenge." "Against who?" Yuri asked. "Us?" Kirkpatrick shook his head. "Oh, no, not against yourselves in particular. Oh, no! I'm after a larger target than just one trouble consultant team." He became thoughtful "Although, I suspect most of the galaxy wouldn't mind my eradicating you two. You've brought a considerable amount of suffering and destruction to date. The target I'm after is a group that allowed me to fulfil my fondest dreams - and then turned around and ruined me when they refused to listen to my advice!!" Kei was thinking as the professor spoke. It suddenly dawned on her what he might want. He was not after the Lovely Angels. Kirkpatrick was after the entirety of the 3WA - lock, stock and barrel! "You couldn't take on the 3WA, Kirkpatrick!" Yuri spat out in echo of Kei's thoughts. "Oh, couldn't I?!" the professor responded. "I can, Miss Yuri! Indeed, I can!" "How?" Kei asked. "That, my dear, would be telling," Kirkpatrick laughed. "But, to start off, I'll need your ship!" "Good luck," Kei snickered, knowing that Mughi would not allow anyone onboard the "Lovely Angel." "You must be referring to your delightful pet," the professor spoke out. "Rest assured, he will not be harmed - however, I cannot allow him to interfere." "Wha...?!" Kei looked about as a loud *thump!* caught her attention. The Lovely Angels spun around to see Mughi's unconscious form ten feet away. And standing beyond him - was Kei and Yuri!!! "Ohmigod!" Yuri moaned. The new Lovely Angels were dressed exactly as the real ones were - in modified 3WA trouble consultant uniforms. They had the same uniform colour, the same gun belts - the Yuri double even had a Bloody Card tucked under her armpit! "Who're they?!" Kei looked back at Kirkpatrick. "Bioroids, of course," he laughed. "Exactly the same as Shasti. Ingenious, wouldn't you say?!" He waved to them "Off with you." "Yes, Professor," the Kei bioroid nodded. The doubles walked out of the room, with the doubles of the three Lucien Genetics personnel following them. Yuri watched them leave, then asked "What happens to us?" "You'll become our guests for the time being," Kirkpatrick smiled. "Shasti insisted on it!" "So she could kill us?" Kei snarled. "Heavens, no!" the professor recoiled. "Ah, I see where your confusion lies!" "You recommended against the tetrad program," Yuri nodded. "When you ran into Shasti again, you corrected it." "That's right, Yuri," Shasti smiled. "I'm not crazy, any more." The Angels sighed in relief. The tetrad program was a special wetware system that gave Shasti a considerable advantage over other trouble consultants. Essentially, there were four separate personalities linked together by a central core. Kirkpatrick objected to such a system being outfitted in his creation - he warned that the potential for induced schizophrenia was many times more than if Shasti was fitted with a monrad (single mind) system. When the thought patterns of Lacombe was inserted prior to her final mission, Shasti's mind was overwhelmed by the input. The results, as the Angels knew well, were catastrophic. Yuri had always been somewhat sympathetic to Shasti's plight. "I'm glad, Shasti...I really am." "Thanks," Shasti nodded. "Well," Kirkpatrick sighed. "I apologize for interrupting your reunion, but my supporters also want to see you." He looked over to the smiley mech standing behind them "Would you be so kind to take these ladies to the ship. Ensure Traffic Control doesn't notice." "Yes, Professor," the mech nodded. "What about that....thing?" he nodded to Mughi. "Leave him," Shasti sighed. "He won't bother us." Looking back at Kei and Yuri, she added "He should be all right." * * * Mitch was having a confusing watch. First, there was the arrival of the legendary Lovely Angels - he never thought of them as the 'Dirty Pair.' He took a liking to them on the spot, especially Kei - he was always a softy around redheads. Miss Grissholm and her two assistants showed up and escorted the Angels to the lower storage areas. An hour later, Kei and Yuri returned, stating something was wrong with their pet. Two minutes after that, they returned with an unconscious Mughi in tow. Twenty minutes after *that,* the Angels returned to the reception lounge. Kei told him they were going to another part of the system to carry on their investigation. Five minutes after that, Miss Grissholm, her two assistants and an elderly gentleman walked out. The deputy director explained they were proceeding to a worksite in another system. At the end of his shift, Mitch was signing off his deskboard. A scream echoed through the reception area "Stop!!! Stop that ship!!" "Wha...?!?!" Mitch turned towards the reception lounge entrance to see Miss Grissholm running towards the gates!! Except for bra and panties, she was naked!!! "Miss Grissholm, what the heck...?!?!" Running up to the desk, Mary asked "Did you see me leave?!?!" "Er...yes!! An hour ago!!!" "With who?!?!" "Mister Scott, Mister Gilbert and an elderly gentleman! He looked familiar!" "Elderly?!?!" Mary wondered aloud. "Oh, no!" To Mitch "Was he very tall, with silver hair, handlebar mustache and talked in a slight British accent?!" "Yeah, that's him!" Mitch gasped. "Isn't that...?!" "Edward Kirkpatrick!!!" Mary snapped. "Shit!!" "But he quit two years ago!!" "I know, I know!!" Mary paced in front of the desk. "Where're the Lovely Angels?!?!" "They left...!" Mitch moaned. "Ten minutes or so before...er...*you*...did!" "Oh, no! They must've been sent on a wild goose chase!!" "When they left, they were acting a bit odd," Mitch spoke up. "Odd?!?!" Mary looked mystified. Thinking for a second, she nodded "They might have been kidnapped!" "Kidnapped?!" Mitch asked, completely baffled. "Yeah! Knowing Kirkpatrick, those doubles of Hugh, Peter and I were bioroids. I wouldn't put it past him if he made bioroids of the Angels, too!!" "So what do we do?!" Mary sighed "Call the 3WA. Tell them we suspect that the people currently manning the Lovely Angels' ship could be bioroid doubles - sent to do God-knows-what! I want security to examine all the storage areas for clues. When that's done, tell the security chief to make a full report - we'll send that off the Shimogu." "Will the 3WA send another TC team?" Mitch asked. "I hope so," Mary sighed. "God, I hope so!" Mitch turned to his communications board and began transmitting the pertinent information. "Attention, attention. This is Crysostome Station calling 3WA HQ Shimogu. Attention, attention..." * * * Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in January 1993 **** **** **** CHAPTER SEVEN - ENTER...THE KNIGHTS OF SAINT GEORGE "So what's the prognosis, Doc?" Rick asked. It had been over a week since Rick and Dipsy had been brought to Optima to undergo cybernetic-genetic upgrading. The physical surgery lasted two days, and for the past five days, the two soldiers had been attached to cellular regeneration units to heal the scars of surgery. The first part of that saw them covered from head to toe in regeneration fluid. As different parts of the body healed at different rates, some semblance of mobility was returned. Today, eight days after their arrival at Optima, the final parts still in regeneration - the lower arms and legs - saw the regeneration units come off. "It looks good, Mister Thomas," Taneka nodded. There was no scars visible on either men. A fine mat of hair had grown back in all the places it was shaven off - hair was the part of the body that responded the earliest to regen fluid. Picking up a mirror, Rick took a look at his face. When he was serving with the Canadian Forces, he walked about clean- shaven. Now, a fine coat of hair covered his face. Dipsy was in the same shape. "Nice...I'll take it!" he quipped. "Now what happens to us?" Dipsy asked. "We've informed the 3WA of your recovery," Taneka explained. "They'll send a ship in several days to pick you up and take you to their headquarters on Shimogu." "And then...?" "That's up to them," the scientist shrugged. "We've placed all pertinent social, cultural and historical data of the last century in your combat computers. For the first while, it will require a bit of effort to access everything. Eventually, we hope, the reactions will become automatic." "And if there's a threat situation?" Rick asked. "The computer will take over all reflex control should a threat be perceived. You should try not to resist the computer's reaction - it makes the situation far worse." "Got it!" Rick nodded. "Anything else?" "Yes," the scientist reached into his smock to pull out a packet. "Courtesy of the 3WA. They've gotten identification and credit vouchers for you, as well as some UniCreds to spend." He tore open the packet and handed two small wallets to the two men. Flipping open his, Rick noticed that there was a 3WA/UG credit card, one hundred UniCreds in cash, and two ID cards. The first was a United Terra resident card, with his name, sex, height, weight, eye colour, hair colour, blood type, genetic upgrade type, home residence location (given as Lunenburg, Nova Scotia, Canada) and birthdate (1966-04-23). Dipsy's had the same information, except for a different address (Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, England) and birthdate (1966-06-09). The two men compared their resident cards, and Rick said "The first thing we buy is a camera. I want to get the looks on people's faces when they see our birthdays!" "You're sick!" Dipsy shook his head. "Why did you decide to go to Nova Scotia?" "Ah, I always wanted to move there. Might buy a boat and live off that," Rick shrugged. At present, neither Rick nor Dipsy had either a home or any other recognizable property. Moving to Nova Scotia would not constitute much of a problem. Taking the other ID card out, Dipsy was aghast to see that it was a blank 3WA card. Looking at Taneka, he asked "What's this?" "Ah! That comes with a message from Administrator Goulet. Legally, you two, until you settle down, are wards of the 3WA. In essence, you're a trouble consultant team - reserve, of course." "A trouble consultant team?!?!" Rick looked at Taneka in shock. "We aren't even trained?!" "The 3WA consider you 'partially trained' - I assume because of your infantry background." "Does that mean we go on missions?" Dipsy asked. "No, of course not!" Taneka shook his head. "But it means you won't get hassles at custom stations." "Oh, terrif'!" Rick sighed. "We can add your pictures and place your codenames on the cards if you want." "Yeah, go ahead!" Rick sighed, laying back onto the bed. Taneka walked out. "What on Earth's your problem?" Dipsy asked. "We're being suckered, Dips." "How so?" "Simple! I've seen it a thousand times before! The 3WA's a government agency, and in us, they see new recruits...so they go, sponsor special upgrades, make us their 'wards,' and in the end, we end up working for them!!" "I see no problem with that!" Dipsy stood. "From what I understand of a trouble consultant's job description, it may be the only trade open for us at the present time." "Yeah, I suppose. But, I wish we would've had some time to think about it." "True," Dipsy nodded. "Oh, by the way, what code-name should we take?" "Huh? Whattayamean?" "Code-name. You know, like 'Lovely Angels.'" "I don't get it." "Well, Doctor Taneka did inform us that we were in essence reserve trouble consultants. A TC team *always* gets a code- name. So what name should we take?" "Mmmmm....good question," Rick mused. "Should be something that identifies our origin....I know! 'The Anglo-Saxon Patrol!'" "Too out of date," Dipsy shook his head. "Well, I want to infer our Englishness." Rick fell silent for a second, then said "We should put something chivalrous in the name." "Okay...'Knight'-something...I got it!" Dipsy sat down. "Knights of Saint George. He was the patron saint of England...and by extension English Canada." "Sounds good!" Rick nodded. "Knights of Saint George, it is." He reached over to the intercom and signalled Taneka's office. "Yes?" the doctor responded. "There's a slot on the ID card for a code-name. Make ours 'Knights of Saint George' - spell out 'Saint.' Okay?" "It'll be done," Taneka nodded. Ten minutes later, a nurse returned with the 3WA ID cards. On each was a holographic representation of Rick and Dipsy on a clear field. On the card itself was the team number (R738), each man's civil service number (Rick's was 772109R, Dipsy's was 772110R), Rick's first name and Dipsy's nickname and the team name. The nurse left as the newly-christened Knights put away their IDs in their wallets. "Maybe you're right, Dips," Rick mused. "I might come to like this." "It's our only option for the time being," Dipsy shrugged. Before anyone could say anything else, an explosion shook Optima station. * * * Two minutes earlier... In the Operations Centre, a traffic control technician picked up several blips on a radar screen, indicating incoming traffic. One of the sensor contacts was a 120-metre class frigate, the others were 40-metre mini-scouts. Thinking it might be a stray UG Space Police patrol, the technician turned on the communications system, and said "Optima Traffic Control to approaching squadron. Please identify yourself." The approaching starships remained silent as they kept on their intercept course. The technician turned to his companion and asked "Can you get a clear ID on them?" "Trying," the second technician typed out identification commands into the ECM board. "Who are they?" the traffic supervisor asked. "Checking it out, now, sir," the first technician reported. To the communications board, he repeated his hail. "Oh, God, no!!!" the second technician gasped in blind horror. "What is it?!" the supervisor asked. "I've got positive IDs on the targets!!" the technician's face went white. "The large ship is the 'Queen Anne's Revenge!!' Smaller vessels are the raiders 'Bartholomew Roberts,' 'Calico Jack Rackham,' 'William Kidd,' 'Anne Bonney' and 'Thomas Tew!!!' All privateers registered out of Purgatory Station!!!!" "'Queen Anne's Revenge?!?!'" the supervisor gasped. "Isn't that...?!?!" "Yes, sir!!!" the technician numbly nodded. "Blackbeard's flagship!!" "Incoming missiles!!!!" the first technician screamed. "Defense screens up!!" the supervisor snapped. "Aye, sir, they're up!" the technician thumbed a toggle. "Should I bring the station to Alert One status?" "Do it! And send out a call to any UGSP, UGSF or 3WA ship in the area!!! Tell them we need help and we need it NOW!!!" "Yessir!!" the technician turned on the radio. At that moment, the missile volley from the "Queen Anne's Revenge" slammed into Optima's defense screens. * * * The lights in the Knights' room went dim for a second, then came back on. The shaking from the missile volley ended a second later. The intercom sounded off with an alert klaxon and a panicked voice "Attention, attention!!! Incoming pirate raiders!!! All non-essential personnel to escape stations!!!" "Pirates?!?!" Rick looked up in stunned disbelief. "In this day and age?!" "So what do we do?" Dipsy calmly asked. "We go to the escape stations!" Rick shrugged. "No weapons, no equipment...we're less than useless!" Dipsy sighed as he followed Rick out the door. Before either man could step through the doorway, another missile volley slammed into the station's outer shields. At the same time, the intercom sounded off with a strange noise - a dirge-like wail akin to the winds of Lake Superior during the November gales, brought to terrifying life by Gordon Lightfoot in 1975 with the song "Wreck of the 'Edmund Fitzgerald.'" "Is someone trying to tell us something?" Rick asked. A voice burst over the intercom, sounding like the typical twentieth-century version of a pirate captain. "This is Captain Edward Teach speakin' to ye!! There'll be no one enterin' the escape pods!!! All my ships have orders to blow up any pod ejectin' from the station! Stand ye fast and prepare to be boarded!!" The defense shields collapsed under additional volleys from the "Revenge" and several of the smaller ships. When it was confirmed the station was defenceless, the large raider slid alongside one of the docking arms. Automatic computer controls within Optima, sensing a ship was about to dock, extended the arm out to the privateer's hull and latched on the docking port on the ship's side. "Teach?!" Rick wondered aloud. "Sounds familiar?" "It should, if you've studied early eighteenth century pirates," Dipsy mused. "According to Daniel Dafoe, Edward Teach was the pirate captain known as Blackbeard." "That's right!" Rick nodded. "Sheesh! Now, we've got modern pirates to contend with!!" "Worse than terrorists any day of the week!" Dipsy shook his head. "So, now what?" "We get outta here!" Rick shrugged, walking out the door. "How? I'm still figuring it out!" * * * At the main docking hatch, a group of Lucien Genetics security personnel stood poised with weapons ready to repel an attack from the "Queen Anne's Revenge." The hatch doors silently parted, and the security supervisor yelled "Fire!!!" Bolts of particle and laser energy burst forth and filled the tunnel with a dazzling array of light and sound. The security personnel maintained their fire for a minute before the supervisor yelled "Cease fire!" Weapons powered down as the security personnel scouted the tunnel for any signs of their defense being effective. The tunnel was empty. "What the...?!" the supervisor wondered aloud. At that moment, the inner hatch on the "Revenge's" hull popped open and four canisters flew out. They landed inside the station and a white-gold cloud of gas spewed forth. "Gas!!" the supervisor cried out, but the canisters emptied their deadly load in seconds. Within ten seconds, the room filled from floor to ceiling with the gas. Twenty seconds later, the gas dispersed, leaving the security team unharmed - to the naked eye. The pirate ship's hatch opened, and a stream of pirates ran through the tunnel into the station. Everyone was dressed in coveralls with a black flag on the chest - a flag showing a white horned skeleton pointing a spear at a red heart. They all wore gas masks, and were essentially covered from head to toe. Once inside the station, they passed the unmoving security contingent and formed up in a loose defensive circle. The pirate leader looked at a hand-held sensor and said "Clear!" Everyone took off their gas masks. To the security supervisor, the pirate team leader yelled "Shoot yourselves!" The security team turned on each other, and with a quick volley of weapons fire, fell dead to the deck. The pirate team leader brought a wrist-communicator to his face and said "All clear, sir!" "Well done, lad!" the voice of Edward Teach - Blackbeard - came back. "Should I gas the whole station?" "Do it!" the pirate captain yelled. "When everythin's secure, call back." "Aye-aye, sir!!" the pirate team leader nodded. To his men, he yelled "Let's go, lads!!" * * * Inside the central lounge, all of Optima's working personnel anxiously waiting the result of the security team's outcome. The word of Blackbeard's arrival at the station had spread like wildfire through the ranks - the pirate captain's fearsome reputation was legendary in the galaxy. Edward Teach's exploits had been galactic legend for ten years, ever since he and his Purgatory Station shipmates raided several systems near the Sirius cluster. With warp-capable ships, and a well-stocked station, the pirates of the abandoned prison moon of Purgatory were becoming one of the greatest threats to the safety of the United Galactica's inhabitants. For the past seven years, the UG Space Police, the Space Fleet and the 3WA had tried to dislodge the pirates from their secure base. All attempts to date were unsuccessful...that sector of the galaxy seemed to swallow interdiction forces and trouble consultant teams whole. "What's gonna happen, Doctor?" a fellow physician asked Yoshi Taneka. "Will we have to surrender?" "It appears to be our only choice," the station supervisor sighed. Then, a cloud of the white gas began to drift into the lounge. A nurse noticed it first "Ohmigod!!!" Taneka looked up "Good Lord!! That's Galcron-Sigma gas!" People began to panic and move towards the lounge exits. The gas filled the room too swiftly for any successful escape attempt. People were immobilized by the gas within seconds. When the gas cleared, the voice of Edward Teach barked over the intercom "Open the door!!" A nurse moved forward and opened the door to allow several masked pirates inside. Once inside, the pirates checked their equipment, and, with the threat of the gas gone, unmasked. The pirate team leader picked up his communicator and said "All clear, sir! The station's ours!!" "Well done, lads!!" Blackbeard thundered. "I'll be there in a minute! Start securin' the prisoners!!" * * * Several hallways away, the Knights of Saint George were hiding inside an alcove on one of the outer ring corridors. The white gas had passed them by, but the anti-CB defence systems built into their bodies prevented the agent for doing it's work. Rick asked "What is that stuff?" "Galcron-Sigma chemical agent," Dipsy accessed his combat computer. Rick checked his own computer to confirm what Galcron-Sigma was. One of the most terrible chemical agents available, G-S was designed to perform, in effect, a chemical frontal lobotomy on its victims. People hit with the gas were completely deprived of their willpower -the gas was designed to destroy those parts of the brain directing autonomous actions. In effect, they were transformed into living robots, responding to any command given them by an outside agent. "Jesus Christ!!" Rick hissed. "The bastards here didn't have a chance!" "Agreed!" Dipsy sighed. "Now what?!" "We get offa this tub!!" Rick got up. "And I just figured out the way how!" The two men took off down the hallway towards the docking area, where the "Queen Anne's Revenge" was waiting. Ducking behind a wall cabinet, the Knights waited until a procession of pirates, escorting a large man with a mangy black beard - Teach, they assumed - passed through the docking tunnel and into the station innards. Once the procession had passed, all that remained were the dead bodies of the station's security contingent and two pirate guards. The two men were relaxed - they could not possibly suspect resistance from a station hit with G-S gas. "There's two of them and two of us," Rick reported. "Let's pretend we've been hit by the gas," Dipsy suggested. Rick nodded, and they went rigid. Both men fell sideways into the cabinet, making the loud hollow noise of something hitting metal. "What the hell...?!?!" one of the pirate guards looked in the direction where the Knights were. The two walked up and spotted the two men laying there. "It's just two more chaps hit with the gas!" the other pirate mused. "Wrong!" Rick snapped. The Knights sprang to their feet and slammed full-force into the two startled pirates. Rick dispatched his with a broken neck while Dipsy rammed the other into the bulkhead, crushing the skull. "That was easy," Dipsy scooped up the dropped weapons and passed one to Rick. "Let's go," Rick walked to the tunnel and went inside. "Er...by the way," Dipsy followed his friend inside. "How many pirates do you assume might still be onboard!" "We're about to find out," Rick reached the hatchway leading inside the "Queen Anne's Revenge." Pressing the intercom button, he waited for a response from the inside. "What's the problem?!?!" a voice barked over the intercom system. "Get out here quick, lads!!!" Rick yelled, making his voice in imitation of a pirate. "We didn't get them all!! The cap'n'sin trouble!!!!" "Hang on!!!" the voice inside cried out. "We'll be on our way!" "How many've we got left?!?!" Dipsy asked. "Six!!" "Send them all out!!!" Rick backed down the tunnel. "We need them!!" Both men backed into the station and, after scooping up extra weapons from the dead security force, put themselves into covered firing positions. In seconds, the hatchway on the privateer opened, and six pirates ran out, weapons at the ready. Rick and Dipsy waited until the last of the pirates passed out of the tunnel before firing. The six men were hit within seconds of each other, and fell in a heap on the deck. The Knights left their hiding spots and sprinted down the tunnel into the "Queen Anne's Revenge." Once within the pirate ship, both men halted - stunned by the sheer elegance of the compartment they stepped into. "Oh, my God!" Dipsy gasped. "There must be enough wealth here to support a king!!!" "No time for the detailed tour," Rick ran forward, hoping to reach the command deck. Dipsy followed, and in seconds, both men were seated at the primary control station. The command deck was built in the same manner as the "Lovely Angel's" - pilot and co- pilot seat with a single couch-like seat for passengers. Looking over the control board, both men accessed their combat computers, which were programmed with starship operation instructions. Once they became acclimatized to the controls, Rick said "Main systems are on line. We can move off at any time we want." "There're five other ships," Dipsy looked at the sensor system. "They're all docked. If we move fast enough, we could destroy them with little problem." "What about the station?" Rick asked. "The people?" Dipsy shook his head in sorrow. "There's no cure for G-S poisoning. People hit by it are essentially living dead." Rick sighed, knowing what had to happen. He thumbed the engine controls, and power began to feed into the thruster units. Dipsy sealed and secured the hatchway, and when Rick nodded, detached the "Revenge" from Optima. Rick applied forward thrust to the engines, and the large privateer darted away from the station. "Shields up!" Rick ordered. "Stand by on missile systems!" "Got it!" Dipsy nodded. "Bring her about." "Coming around," Rick shifted the helm controls. The privateer wheeled about in a perfect snap-turn, bringing its numerous missile banks to bear on Optima. The communications board activated with the outraged voice of Blackbeard "What the devil're you lads doin'?!?! Who's in command there?!" Rick smiled as he hit the return switch. "Agents Rick Thomas and David Doolittle of the Worlds Welfare Work Association!! And you, asshole, are finished!!!" To Dipsy, he nodded. Dipsy thumbed the missile trigger. A volley of twenty missiles streaked out - four for each of the smaller privateers. Onboard these ships, pirate crews panicked as they tried to detach their ships from the station - once free, their shields could be raised and they could return fire. The missiles caught them just as they were detaching from Optima, blowing them apart while still latched on the station. The explosions blew inward, disintegrating the docking collars and exposing the station's outer hull to the outside vacuum. The escaping air created a suction effect on the inner hull - it was not designed to take combat damage. The inner hull split open, rupturing power conduits and fuel mains. The exposed power cables set the fuel afire in the thinning air, and minor multiple explosions cracked the inner hull wide open. More conduits split apart near the station's main reactor, causing it to detonate. That detonation disintegrated the remaining fragments of Optima into dust and debris. "Nicely done," Rick sighed, laying back in the pilot's chair. "So now where do we go?" Dipsy asked. "We find the Lovely Angels," Rick growled. "And when we find them, we head back to where we got zapped into this century and pay Donald Stuart a very unfriendly visit!!" "And where will we find Kei and Yuri?" Dipsy asked. "I overheard them talking on the way here," Rick replied. "They were expecting to go to some place called Crysostome." Looking at the navigational apparatus, he tapped into the computer "Let's find out where that is." The small nav-comp screen came on, revealing that Crysostome was a day or so away from Optima, in a very remote part of the galaxy. "At this baby's top speed, we could be there in six hours." "Er...excuse me, old boy, but haven't you forgotten something?" Dipsy interrupted. "Eh?!" Rick looked over to his partner. "What's that?" "We're onboard a privateer belonging to what seemed to be a very notorious pirate," Dipsy explained. "Don't you think people might panic when they see us?" Rick nodded "Good point." Thinking for a second, he asked "What should we do?" Dipsy mused on the question for a moment. "The only option that might work is that we claim this ship as salvage." "Salvage?" Rick looked at his friend in question. "What would that do?" "Well, if we claim this ship as salvage, then it and everything onboard *rightfully* belongs to us. We could turn over any contraband stuff to the police, keep the rest, and register the ship in our own name." Rick nodded in approval "Cute!" Turning to the nav-comp, he had it locate all ship-registration stations on the general route between Optima and Crysostome. There was only one: a small, independent trucking station three hours away at top speed. It was also a UG Space Police inspection post. "I believe we've got our place," Rick nodded. Dipsy scanned the information and nodded "Well, shall we be going?" "Let's do it!" Rick programmed the ship's course into the computer, and brought the main engines on line. The "Queen Anne's Revenge" wheeled about, and in seconds, leapt into hyperspace. * * * Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in January 1993 **** **** **** CHAPTER EIGHT - THE BIOROID CONSPIRACY The Lovely Angels woke up in a dungeon. It had been over a week since Kei and Yuri had been kidnapped from Crysostome. Both women had spent most of the time on a small transport ship, which had been doing small warp hops from one side of the galaxy to the other. They were placed in a small cabin with a single window - one that did not offer much of a view. Finally, after seven days of hopping around, the Angels found themselves in this strange place. They were bound by chains to a overhead pipe. Computer parts and other devices were scattered about them. Looking down, they noticed their feet were also bound to floor piping. "Where the hell are we, anyway?" Kei growled. "Ciscobar Station, Miss Kei," Edward Kirkpatrick's voice sounded off from a doorway. Through it walked the professor, Shasti and a third gentleman. "Who are you?" Yuri asked the newcomer. "My name don't matter," he looked at her. However, he pulled out a small pendant - an upside-down pentagram with the letter "L." "Lucifer," Kei whispered. The Lucifer Syndicate was the largest criminal organization in the United Galactica. The 3WA intelligence wing estimated that Lucifer had its fingers in more than half of the major crimes occurring in any period of time. The Lovely Angels had encountered elements of this group on many occasions during their careers - the Daigle incident and the Dormenshtern kidnapping for two. "So why did you get into bed with these guys?" Kei asked Kirkpatrick. "Very easy, Miss Kei," the professor smiled. "Lucifer and myself have similar goals in mind - the complete destruction of the 3WA. They needed my expertise - I needed their financial resources." "It was a communal trade," the Lucifer agent nodded. "So, now what?" Kei asked. "That's up to you two," the Lucifer man moved over to hook up communications links into the Angels' microsoft plugs. "Hey!" Yuri struggled to avoid being plugged in. It was useless. "There we are!" the Lucifer man smiled. He turned back to the computer controls beside the Angels and flipped a couple of switches. The computer came on. "What's this?" Kei asked. "A little memory incentive. Let's see how defiant you are after reliving your worst nightmares!" With that, he flipped a third switch. The Lovely Angels were jolted from head to toe as the computer began feeding energy through the microsoft plugs into their minds. The last thing Kei and Yuri saw before passing out was Shasti. There was a single tear rolling down her cheek. * * * Frederick Jade was in a good mood today. The president of the Intergalactic Independent Truckers Union was relaxing in his office, located in the upper levels of the Dahana Outpost, a small way-station located near Optima. Jade, a large man who had been in the transport business for over ten years, had been elected to the presidency of the IITU a year before, when, after the Universal Transport Company was put out of business, the independent truckers at Dahana and other small outposts decided to organize. The IITU was a loose confederation - truckers could enter and leave at their discretion, which was far better than the days when Universal was trying to put them out of business. The days that ended when two ladies named Kei and Yuri came along... Jade was one of the many people scattered around the galaxy that owed a lot to the Lovely Angels. After several truckers were killed by Universal Company agents, the 3WA sent them in to investigate, disguised as two new truckers. The president later found out that these two ladies were much more than space truckers when they took on both the Universal Company and the local UG Space Police detachment, both up to their ears in corruption and smuggling. With Universal brought down, the independents took over Dahana from the corrupt division of the Space Police that were in alliance with Universal. Although there was a small police-run inspection station, Dahana was under the complete control of the IITU. The vidphone chimed. Jade, shaken out of his revelry, picked it up "Jade." The image on the vidscreen coalesced into Matthew Allan's face. Matthew was one of the more experienced truckers, and a veteran of the shing-ding involving Kei and Yuri. He now served as IITU's chief of operations. "Sorry to bother you, Jade, but there's a strange ship coming in." "So?" "The drivers say they want to talk to you." Jade shrugged. "Put them on." Matthew adjusted some controls, and the screen shifted to the view of the command deck of a ship. There, two men sat. "Hello," the one on the right looked at the screen. "Can you see us?" "Yes, this is President Jade. Can I help you?" "Er...yeah," Rick Thomas nodded. "My name's Rick, and this is my partner Dipsy," he chucked a thumb to the man seated beside him. "Listen, we'd like to claim a ship for salvage." Jade was mildly surprised. "We can handle that. What type of ship is it?" "We suspect it's home-made," Dipsy spoke out. "A privateer built at Purgatory." The Knights of Saint George had spent the hour between leaving Optima and arriving at Dahana researching the history of their find. Jade's surprise increased considerably. "A privateer! How did you get a hold of that?" "Well," Rick shrugged nonchalantly. "These bunch of characters show up at Optima, and, you know, start a raid. They nail the place with Galcron-Sigma gas, but we get out unharmed. We grab this ship, take off from the station, and are forced to blow up the place to prevent anyone from chasing our asses across the galaxy." Jade winced, knowing what could happen to anyone hit with Galcron-Sigma. "God, that's horrible! Have you reported what happened to the police or the 3WA." "Well, that's why we're here," Dipsy smiled. "We understand there's a UG Space Police detachment there." "There is," Jade nodded. "Well, while we go through the routine of getting our ship claimed as salvage, we can make a full report to the UGSP," Dipsy shrugged. "At the same time, any illegal or controlled substance that may be on board can be turned over to the proper authorities." Jade nodded again. "Well, you've got a very interesting case." He leaned back in his chair "I suppose we could help you. Can we at least have the name and class of your ship?" "Certainly," Dipsy smiled. "She's a 120-metre class light frigate named the 'Queen Anne's Revenge.'" "'Queen Anne's...?!?!?!'" Jade gasped in complete shock. "You mean...Blackbeard's flagship?!?!" The two men nodded. "Oh, my God!!!" Jade's slumped in his chair. * * * News of the "Queen Anne's Revenge" flashed through Dahana like wildfire. Blackbeard's main prey for all his pirate years were independent truckers such as those who now made up the IITU. The news of the capture of the pirate's command ship - as well as his death at Optima - drew a massive crowd to the central dockyard. Matthew and Jade were there, along with Staff-Sergeant Miranda Scott, the superintendent of the Dahana inspection station. The big privateer passed through the main hangar doors, floated through the bay, and gently put down in front of the gathered crowd. A minute later, the lower boarding ramp came down and Rick Thomas and Dipsy Doolittle descended. Walking up to Jade and Miranda, they fished out their 3WA ID cards. Rick carried out the introductions. "3WA, huh?" Matthew shook his head, remembering the Lovely Angels' visit. "Figures!" "Got a problem, bud?" Rick snapped. "My partner and I almost got killed grabbing this bird." "God!!!" Jade looked along the length and width of the "Revenge." "I've prayed for Blackbeard's death for years!! I never imagined I would be asked to do a salvage claim on his flagship!!!" "Makes you feel happy, don't it?" Rick mused. He turned to Miranda. "You with the UGSP?" "Yes," she nodded. "Miranda Scott." "Hi," Rick smiled. "Listen, if your boys want to start looking, you can go ahead. Dips and I'll be busy with Mister Jade, here." "Certainly. We'll tell you if we found anything of interest." "Excellent," Dipsy spoke out. "We'll be with Mister Jade." * * * An hour later, Miranda arrived at Jade's office. Accompanying her was her assistant, a lanky corporal name Hughes. Inside, they sat down beside Rick and Dipsy and Miranda began her report "We found a lot in that ship. Vizorium, half a dozen illegal drugs, contraband items from two dozen planets and lots of Galcron-Sigma gas canisters." "That's the stuff they used on Optima?" Jade asked. Both Knights nodded. "We also found a lot of gold, silver, platinum and, to our best count, a chest full of coinage from fifty planets. Estimated value is over fifteen million credits." "Fifteen mil...?!?!" Rick gaped. "Jeez!!" "Anything else?!" Dipsy asked. "A lot of silks and other precious materials," Hughes reported. "And, interestingly enough, a classical weapons collection." "Classical?" Rick asked. "Mid- to late twentieth century," Miranda explained. "Not only the guns, but the ammunition as well." Rick and Dipsy exchanged looks of utter delight. Jade noticed it immediately and asked "Something interesting?" The Knights caught themselves. While with Jade, they explained they had served with the UG Space Force as marine infantrymen. Rick and Dipsy had decided for the time being to keep their unique origin under wraps. "We've always had an interest in classical weapons," Rick shrugged. To Miranda "Any of that illegal?" "Restricted," Miranda explained. "But, since you're 3WA agents, you're exempted." "Good," Dipsy nodded. "You downloaded all the illegal materials?" "We did." "Excellent," Dipsy turned to Jade. "Now that the salvage claim has been made, what happens?" "You can do anything you want!" the IITU president shrugged. "Heck, you can even register the 'Queen Anne's Revenge' under your own names!" Rick looked at Dipsy. He looked back. They both nodded. Dipsy turned to Jade "That's sounds like an excellent idea. Of course, we should change the name of the ship to something less frightening." "A new paintjob," Rick added. "We can do that right here," Jade pressed an intercom switch. Matthew's face appeared on the screen. "Yeah, Jade?" "We're finished with Mister Thomas' and Mister Doolittle's claim. They want to repaint and rename their ship. Is the paint shop clear?" Matthew looked at the stat board in the operations office and shook his head "All clean." "Great," Jade turned back to Rick. "We can start now." "Terrific," Rick smiled. "While we wait, we'll make a call to our bosses on Shimogu and tell them what's going on." "Fair enough," Jade stood up. * * * "What happened?!?!" Goulet cried out in disbelief. "We told you," Rick sighed. "Blackbeard and a bunch of his boys raided Optima. They nailed the place with Gamma-Sigma gas. We avoided being hurt and grabbed his flagship. To prevent pursuit, we blew up the scouts, and that, unfortunately, destroyed the station. Once we were free and clear, we came to Dahana to claim the 'Queen Anne's Revenge' as salvage." "You reported this to the police?" the DCA asked from his office in Shimogu. "Yes!" Rick nodded. It was the third time he had answered that question. Goulet sat back in his chair. "My God! We've been after that guy for years!! And you two come along and...!!!" he shook his head in total disbelief. "You might say we were lucky," Dipsy sighed. "So now we got a ship," Rick said. "When are you going to send someone to take care of the dork that brought us here?" "We can't touch him," the DCA shook his head. "Nova Albion removed themselves from the 3WA charter. No 3WA trouble consultant team can carry out business on that planet." "Then let us handle it," Dipsy interrupted. "Technically, we're not 3WA agents." "Technically, you are," Goulet retorted. "Reserve agents, but agents none the less." "Nice!" Rick snapped. "Ah, we'll worry about Stuart later! Where's Kei and Yuri?" "The Lovely Angels? They're at Crysostome Station investigating a robbery." "Robbery?" Dipsy asked. "Nothing serious, I hope." "A simple case," Goulet shook his head. "They should have it done within a week. Then, we can concentrate on Donald Stuart. In the meantime, you...!" The *bang!* of a door hitting a wall hard was heard in the DCA's office. He turned towards it and said "What the...?!" "Chief!!!" the cry of a young man filtered across the screen at Dahana. "The Dirty Pair...!!" "Lovely Angels!!" Goulet corrected. "Er...sorry!" a young man came onto the screen. He had light brown hair and glasses, and looked the part of a young administrator. "Anyhow, they've been kidnapped!!!" "Kidnapped?!?!" Goulet, Rick and Dipsy cried out at the same time. Noticing the new voices, the newcomer turned to the screen to look at the Knights. "Who're you?!" "Knights of Saint George," Rick pointed at himself, then Dipsy. "Rick Thomas, Dipsy Doolittle." "James Calico," the young man introduced himself. "What about them?" Goulet asked. Calico turned back to his superior. "We just got a call from Crysostome. Director Grissholm told us someone made bioroid duplicates of herself and her two assistants, and *they* were the ones that met Kei and Yuri!! Miss Grissholm suspects they were kidnapped!" "What about their ship?" Rick asked. "And their pet?" Dipsy added. "Mughi's safe," Calico nodded. "The ship's gone! Miss Grissholm suspects that whoever duplicated her also made doubles of Kei and Yuri!!" "Did her security force do an investigation?" the DCA asked. "Yes!" Calico nodded again. "The primary suspect is...you're not gonna *believe* this...Edward Kirkpatrick!!!" "Professor Kirkpatrick?!?!" Goulet cried out. "The one who created Shasti?!" "The same!" "Why would this Kirkpatrick chap want to kidnap the Lovely Angels?" Dipsy asked. "He was the chief project director responsible for our first bioroid trouble consultant," Goulet explained. "Er, no offense, Boss, but you're dealing with two slightly inexperienced people here," Rick shrugged. "What the hairy heck's a bioroid?" "It's an android created by bio-organic substances," Calico stated. "Heck, you could make a bioroid out of the same materials that a normal person is made out of. Do it right, and you won't be able to tell the difference." "So if these doubles of Kei and Yuri are operating their ship," Dipsy nodded. "That means they could, with ease, avoid detection." "They could," Goulet nodded. "Especially if Kirkpatrick created them." "Yeesh!" Rick shook his head. Goulet turned to Calico. "Alert all 3WA outposts. If they see the 'Lovely Angel,' they are to try to delay or capture whoever's onboard." "Got it!" Calico nodded, then ran out of the DCA's office. "What about Crysostome?" Rick asked. "Is anyone gonna follow up on that?" "Not necessary," Goulet shook his head. "The materials taken from there would be needed by Kirkpatrick if he wants to make new bioroids." "We have a suspect," Dipsy mused. "Now, all we need is a motive." "That's easy!" the DCA shook his head in disgust. "Kirkpatrick's career was ruined when Shasti went berserk! Partially, it was our fault - we didn't take his advice not to modify her with a tetrad program." "Tetrad?" Rick wondered. "Four-mind," Dipsy explained. "So he'd probably wants to get back at the 3WA for ruining his career," Rick shrugged. "Now all we have to do is find where he's hiding and go after him." "That'll be very difficult," Dipsy sighed. "It's a rather large galaxy." At that moment, the door to the communications room opened, and Jade walked in. He caught the last of the conversation and asked "Something wrong?" "Yeah!" Rick snorted. "We need to find somebody who's kidnapped the Lovely Angels." "Kei and Yuri?!" Jade gasped. "The problem is that we don't know where the kidnappers took them," Dipsy added. Goulet called over the screen "Something's come up. I'll talk to you guys later. 3WA out." The screen went dark. "You want to go after them? Find the Angels?" Jade asked. "Yeah!" Rick sighed. "We owe them one heck of a favour. I suppose rescuing them from whoever's got them might do it!" "Then you've got no problem," Jade laughed. "Blackbeard was one smart bastard. He outfitted his ships with the best periphery sensory this side of a UGSF scoutship. Even if the trail's two months old, the vizorium particles left behind from warp engines could still be measured and traced by your ship's computer." "Can it tell us how far anyone's gone?" Rick asked. "No problem!" the IITU president nodded. "Once you have the approximate mass of the vessel, the computer equates the co- efficient between mass and power output and you have a very accurate distance count." Rick and Dipsy looked at each other. "That means we can go after them no matter how far they've gone!!" "And no matter how many warp jumps they made," Dipsy added. Looking at Jade, Rick asked "Is our ship ready?" "She's all set," Jade laughed. * * * Walking into the main hangar bay, Rick and Dipsy looked at their new home. The ship, which had been once covered in deep reds and blacks, now was completely covered in royal blue with gold trimming. The 3WA logo was on the two vertical fins, as well as both upper and lower wing planes. On the main fuselage was four flags - the UG pennant, the Federated Terra flag (a slightly altered United Nations flag), and the Union Jack and the Maple Leaf. Beside the row of flags, in two-metre high gold letters, was the ship's new name: "Queen Elizabeth 2." Rick nodded "Not bad. Not bad at all!" "Well, shall we depart?" Dipsy asked. Jade walked up with a small docket and handed it to Rick. "Ship's registration papers, pilot's licenses for both, and salvage claim. You could take it back to Shimogu and get reimbursed there." Miranda, who had come along to see the "Elizabeth's" new looks, added "There was a lot of reward money posted for Blackbeard's capture. I've alerted the separate parties to send payment to your superiors on Shimogu." "Great!" Rick laughed. "Well, much as we would like to stay, but we have friends to rescue!" Both Knights ran up the ship's boarding ramp. Within seconds, the ramp closed and the "Queen Elizabeth 2" taxied out of the hangar and flew off in the direction of Crysostome Station. * * * "Crysostome Traffic Control, this is the 3WA patrol ship 'Queen Elizabeth 2.' Come in, please, " Rick reported over the communications console as soon as they had arrived in the Crysostome sector. "'Queen Elizabeth 2,' this is Crysostome Traffic Control," Mitch called back. "Registry and homeport please." "Registry number is 3WAR73844B. Callsign is Regina. Homeport is Shimogu 3WA HQ," Dipsy spoke out. "Do you have the Lovely Angels' pet with you?" "Affirmative, 'Elizabeth,'" Mitch nodded. "Excellent," Dipsy sighed. "We'll lock on and take him aboard. Once he's here, we'll detach and commence pursuit of suspects. Do you have the information on Professor Kirkpatrick's ship?" "Er...yes," Mitch nodded. "Transmit that information, please. We'll need the ship's weight category and size." "Er...understood, 'Queen Elizabeth 2,'" Mitch nodded, then pressed several controls on his deskpad. The information was relayed immediately to the ship's computer. In minutes, the "Elizabeth" came alongside one of the docking bays at Crysostome. The side hatch came open, and at the end of the tunnel stood Mary Grissholm and a very anxious Mughi. Rick, who was at the other end, asked "You Grissholm?" "That's right," Mary walked up. Mughi, however, ran up and nearly leapt all over Rick. "Down, boy!" Rick snapped, shoving the bear-cat away. "Now that we've got him, we'll be on our way." "Just a second!" Mary spoke out. "Problem?" "Yes," she nodded. "My traffic controller just told me that your ship's registry is brand-new!" "Yeah, it is!" Rick laughed, stepping aside to allow Mughi into the "Elizabeth." "Why is there a problem?" "I've never seen a 3WA patrol ship like this!" Mary added. "Details, details!" Rick reached over for the hatch controls. "I'd love to explain, but we've got a ship's trail to follow. Ciao!" He closed the hatchway. Returning to the cockpit, Rick thumbed the controls that detached the "Elizabeth" from Crysostome. Dipsy was busy on the sensory apparatus, and called out "Got them!!" "Where?!" Rick asked. "Course one-one-four by zero-two-two. Distance one-oh-five- seven light years." "Right!" Rick nodded, programming the new course into the ship's computer. "Distance and speed punched in. We're outta here!" The "Queen Elizabeth 2" leapt into hyperspace. * * * Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in January 1993 **** **** **** CHAPTER NINE - THE CISCOBAR RAID "How long do we have to keep doing this?" Shasti asked. Shasti was with Kirkpatrick in his quarters at Ciscobar Station. It had been three days since they had arrived with the Lovely Angels as their prisoners - and two since the Lucifer supervisor, Howard Dawson, had plugged them into the nightmare machine, a special torture device the crime syndicate used to break prisoner's wills. Ciscobar was an abandoned mining colony at the outermost extreme of the galaxy. Abandoned twenty years ago when the mineral resources ran out, it was the perfect hiding spot for Kirkpatrick and his allies. "Have to do what?" Kirkpatrick asked. "Work with these Lucifer creeps!" Shasti embraced herself. "They make my skin crawl!" "Until we are done," the professor nodded. "Most of the material's at Rendezvous Six. Once the rest is completed, my part of the bargain is complete, and we'll leave." "Can we take Kei and Yuri with us?" the bioroid ex-trouble consultant asked. "We'll see," Kirkpatrick nodded. "Where did you send their doubles?" "The 3WA medical centre on Megana," Shasti explained. "They'll pick up the requested materials and then come back here. If we're not here, they'll go to Kalevela and wait for me there." Kirkpatrick smiled. He leaned over to the small wall cabinet and pulled out two champagne glasses and a bottle of Dom Perigon 2111. Pouring its contents into the glasses, he handed one to Shasti and made a toast "To Deidre Hollander. A wonderful woman whose life ended so tragically." "To Deidre," Shasti replied, tears falling down her face. "A dear friend who I miss so much." The glasses touched and they drank. * * * Kei felt like she was drifting inside a hollow cone. She floated for some time, before crashing down in the middle of a field. Looking about, she noticed distant mountain ranges that harkened to a very fond set of memories. *My God!* she thought. *I'm back on Niogi!* Kei had not been home since her departure for university on Mezuil. It was not that she had not thought about returning to Niogi time and time again. Unfortunately, schooling, 3WA training and one mission after the next had taken all her time. Walking ahead, she spotted the landmarks indicating the family farm. Niogi is a farming planet, exporting dozens of crops to nearby systems, and everyone living there was employed in one fashion or another with the agricultural industry. The main business on the planet was Niogama Industries, which was founded by Kei's paternal great-uncle Inoga. Reaching the back forty of the farm, Kei spotted the farmhouse, barn and other buildings that she called home for the first sixteen years of her life. No one was out at the time, but Kei didn't care. Walking forward, she began to realize how much she truly missed it. Entering, Kei detected the smell of Elizabeth's cooking. As soon as she was inside, Kei heard her mother's voice "Welcome home." Her head turned around to see Ryu and Elizabeth Niogami standing in the kitchen. Elizabeth had a cherry cheesecake pie in her hands. In Kei's opinion, her mother made the best cheesecake in the universe - hence, the reason she ate so much of it. "Dad!! Mom!!" Kei cried out, running up to hugh them. As soon as she embraced them, Kei felt a drop of something wet and sticky on her cheek. Leaning back, she noticed that her parents were bleeding!! These were not normal cuts or bruises, either...they were bullet wounds!!! "Dad!!" Kei screamed out. "Mom!!!" More bullet holes appeared all over them - face, arms, chest, legs...the blood was everywhere! They began to sway left and right, back and forth, as if they were wilted flowers in a windstorm. Then, when it was too much, they collapsed in a bloody heap on the floor! "NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Kei screamed, collapsing to her knees. * * * Howard Dawson relaxed in his room in the upper levels of Ciscobar's main complex. He had a bottle of beer in his hand when a knock was heard. "What is it?" he called out. "What's up?" the deputy supervisor of Ciscobar, Walter Stiles, opened the door and walked in. "Not much," Dawson sighed. "Everything's going to plan. The last of the material'll ship out to Dolz in a couple of days. The operation'll proceed as planned when we move there. And best of all..." he toasted his second-in-command with the beer "We've got the Dirty Pair out of the way for good!" "We'll have to kill them," Stiles walked over to the small refrigerator and pulled out another beer. "I know!" Dawson chuckled. "I was there when those two bitches ruined the Daigle operation!! Hell, I was almost killed in the fiasco over Dolz!!!" He sighed "Before they die, I intend to see those two suffer!" "Don't blame you," Stiles opened the bottle, took a swig, and sat down. "By the way, can we trust Kirkpatrick?" "What do you mean?" "Well, after what we did to his precious toy..." "Yeah, I know!!" Dawson laughed. "That professor'll be over us like fleas on a dog!!" He sat up on the bed. "Man, he would be *so* pissed if he found out that *we* were Lacombe's employers, and that *we* arranged for Biotech to screw up the re- programming of his bioroid!!" "God!!" Stiles shook his head. "Imagine what *she'd* do?!?!" * * * Shasti cursed under her breath. She was returning to her quarters to prepare her belongings for departure when her super-sensitive hearing caught the conversation between Dawson and Stiles - about Lacombe, herself, the 3WA and Lucifer's doings of the last three years!! Feeling guilty enough about what happened to Deidre, Shasti's mystification about her programming malfunction was finally cleared up! *Now what?!* she asked herself. If Lucifer had been lying to Kirkpatrick about what happened three years ago, who knows what else they were planning! She made a decision. Turning to the door leading to Dawson's quarters, she knocked. "Who is it?" he asked. "It's Shasti." she smiled. He opened the door. "What do you want?" "What do I want?" she smiled again - very sweetly. Then, her face turned serious "Your ass!!!!" In a blink of an eye, her left hand rammed into Dawson's chest, with enough force to penetrate the skin and shatter the breastbone. The momentum propelled Dawson into Stiles, and the two men collapsed on the floor. Shasti lunged forward and in quick succession, snapped Stiles' neck and beat Dawson's head to a pulp! "Oh, I'm so *very* sorry about that!" she moaned sweetly, standing up. Turning to a wall unit, she took a towel and wiped her hands clean of blood. Once that was done, she left the room. Shasti had an outstanding debt to pay to a very dear friend. * * * Yuri round herself in a forest. Part of her kept reminding herself this was a computer- induced dream, one that was shoved into her mind by the nightmare machine. She knew what that device was, having seen one in a previous encounter with Lucifer agents. She was the resident computer expert in the Lovely Angels - Kei, with her limited patience, never developed any serious aptitude. Yuri knew deep in her heart the images produced were not real, but they certainly felt that way! "Yuri!!!" a voice echoed through the forest. "Kei?!?!" "Help us!!!" another voice called out - it was Yuri's mother!! Yuri realized where she was, running through the trees - Yocha! While Kei's home was an agricultural work, Yocha was dedicated to the forest industry. Ever since she was a child, Yuri had learned to live and respect all aspects of the forest. Bursting through a clearing, she spotted her home - a log cabin. Running through the front door, she recoiled in horror at the sight before her. There was Kei, Yuri's parents and Billy Ganet - all seated, tied up in tension wire. Moving to cut the wire, Yuri took out her Bloody Card - it's tengoid edges could slice through nearly everything! She walked over "I'll have you out in a second," kneeling down to begin cutting. "Yuri, don't!!!" Kei cried out. "Why not?" Yuri yelled back. "This is explosive tripwire!" Kei responded. "It's hooked to a bomb on the back of my seat!" Yuri gulped as she spotted the device. *God, I hate defusing bombs!!* Forcibly calming herself, she inspected the device in an initial attempt to ascertain the proper route to rendering it inert. Spotting two wires, she moved the Bloody Card in to start cutting. "Careful, Yuri!" Kei whimpered. "Relax, Kei," Yuri hissed. Making a quick decision, she sliced one of the wires. A *beep-beep-beep!* sounded off immediately. "Shit!!" Yuri snapped. She moved quickly, cutting all the tripwire with the Card. The beeps sounded faster now as she shoved Kei towards the door. Once Kei was through, she reached over to grab her parents and Billy, desperately hoping she was in time. She wasn't. The bomb went off. The force of the blast threw Yuri through the doorway right after Kei. Landing on her backside, she did a somersault, then looked back at her home. The whole place was a wreck! There was no sign of her parents or Billy! The shock of their deaths - even in this insane dreamworld - dried up any tears. Yuri turned away in total shame. She felt a sudden wetness on her shoulder. Spinning around, she looked up - to see a large chunk of wood sticking out between Kei's breasts! Her face was a mix of pain and shock as she collapsed in a heap beside Yuri "Kei?!?! Oh, God, say something!!!" Kei looked up at Yuri. Her eyes had lost all the life people had come to know over the years - they were now two blank orbs. Spitting out blood, she gasped "Looks like...our luck's... finally ran....out!" Reaching up weakly with her hand, Kei silently cried Yuri's name one final time. The hand fell back onto the ground, and her head drunkenly sagged to one side. She was gone. Yuri looked at the fallen form of her best friend as tears began to flow. Her heart was in her throat as Yuri shook her head, searching to deny what just happened. "Oh, Kei!" she gasped between sobs of grief. "I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!!!" * * * The "Queen Elizabeth 2" warped out of hyperspace at the edge of the Ciscobar system. The Knights of Saint George spent the last two days retracing the route Kirkpatrick and his accomplices had taken to get here from Crysostome. While the professor had taken his time in getting here, the Knights were under no such restriction - hence the reduced travel time. The "Elizabeth's" sensory apparatus followed the faint ion trail of Kirkpatrick's ship - which lead to the fifth planet of the Ciscobar system. "I think we found it," Rick mused. "By George, we did," Dipsy smiled in delight. "ECM's picking up a single settlement on the fifth planet. Latitude forty degrees north by seventy-seven degrees west relative." "Any radar?" "Yes," Dipsy nodded. "Navigational set only. No sign of weapons or combat units." He looked over at his friend "I suggest full ECM measures, anyway." "Good point," Rick nodded in return. He flipped several switches on his console "Electronic jamming and counter-jamming systems active. Passive systems also tracking." Back to Dipsy "Anything on the comm channels?" "Nothing," his friend shook his head. "Lifescan reports about one hundred and fifty people. From this great distance, it's hard to tell who's who." Rick understood that point. "Taking her in." * * * "Huh?" one of the Lucifer technicians looked up. "Something the matter?" Kirkpatrick asked from his seat in the centre of the station's operations centre. "Thought I saw something!" the technician reported. "Looked like a ship." "Can you see it now?" "No, sir," he shook his head. "It could be a sensor echo." "Then again," the professor stood. "It could not!" Walking up to the station, he ordered "Activate passive motion sensors. If there's anything out there, they'll find it." "Yes, sir," the technician flipped several switches. A second later, a large blip appeared on the screen. "Got them!!" "Good!" Kirkpatrick nodded. "Turn every sensory device we've got on that point." * * * "What the hell...?!?!" Rick looked at his sensor screen. "Problem?" Dipsy asked. "Yeah!! A heck of a lot of sensors just came on! And they're pointing straight at us!!!" Dipsy looked at his friend in shock. "I can't believe that!!" "Believe it!" Rick snapped. "Now what?!" "I haven't a clue!" Dipsy sighed. "At least we know that we've found the right place!" "True," Rick nodded, slipping into thought. After a moment, an idea entered his head. "Drop the jamming screens." "Wha...?!?! Why?!" "Simple! Let them see who we are!!" "I...oh, yes!" Dipsy understood what was happening. "Splendid idea!!" He reached over to shut down the electronic warfare systems. * * * "They shut down the EW systems," the technician reported. "Can you get a decent reading on them?" Kirkpatrick asked. "Doing it now!" the technician commenced accessing his computer. A minute later, a *ding!* was heard. The technician looked down at the readout and gasped in horror "Shit!!!!" "What is it?" Kirkpatrick asked. "It's Blackbeard!!!" "Blackbeard?!?!" "Yessir!!" the technician cried out. "The ship's been ID'd as the 'Queen Anne's Revenge!!'" "The...?!" Kirkpatrick gasped. "Damn!!! What're they doing here?!" "Dunno, sir!" the technician shook his head. For years, the Purgatory pirates had been blood enemies with the Lucifer Syndicate and the other major criminal organizations of the United Galactica. Blackbeard, especially, was hated by Lucifer's men - he was responsible for interfering with several potentially profitable operations. One of the rewards posted for the pirate's capture was by a Lucifer front company! "Orders, sir?" the technician asked. Kirkpatrick thought for a second. "Alert everyone to stand by to evacuate. If we provoke a fight with Blackbeard, he might summon his friends, and we'll be in real trouble!" "Yessir!!" the technician nodded, pressing the alarm klaxon. * * * "What the...?!" Shasti looked up as the klaxon sounded off. She had finished cleaning up after her execution of Dawson and Stiles, and was now about to find Kirkpatrick and tell him the truth about what was going on. Moving to an intercom, she thumbed the voice button "Professor?" "Yes, Shasti?" Kirkpatrick responded. "What is it?" she asked. He told her. "Blackbeard?!?!" she gasped in horror. "Yes," the professor nodded. "I'm having everyone preparing to evacuate." "I see," Shasti nodded. "What about my problem?" "I see nothing wrong with it. Have you seen Dawson or Stiles?!" "Er...no," Shasti lied, knowing that telling the truth, within earshot of a lot of armed Lucifer troops, would be disastrous. "I'll go and tell them!" "Good," Kirkpatrick smiled. "Professor, do you mind if I head on off to Kalevela?" "I would delay departure until the 'Queen Anne's Revenge' has left the system." "I understand," she nodded. "Once they're gone, you can go." "Thanks," Shasti nodded again. "Rendezvous Six?" "Yes." Shasti turned off the communications switch. With the sudden arrival of Blackbeard, her plans for getting Kirkpatrick out of Lucifer's grasp had been delayed considerably. However, she knew that the crime syndicate had placed special missile launchers around Ciscobar. Those would be able to deter or defeat any attack from the pirates. Keeping that in mind, Shasti ran down into the lower levels. There, she found Kei and Yuri, still under the influence of the nightmare machine. A film of sweat covered their bodies. Shasti could not imagine what images were being produced that would induce the level of fear necessary for this. Without a second glance, she deactivated the machine and took the computer links out of the Angels. Using her considerable strength, she snapped the locks securing them to the walls. Both Kei and Yuri collapsed in a heap on the floor. Yuri was the first to recover. "Wha...wha' happened?" "Relax," Shasti helped Yuri into a sitting position. "Sh...Shasti?" Yuri looked up in confusion. "What're you doin'?" "We're getting out of here," Shasti explained, then leaned over to Kei and shook her awake. "You okay?" Kei was up in a shot. Confused for a second, she shook her head, then looked over to Shasti "What're you doing?" "We're getting out of here," Shasti explained. "No, no!" Kei shook her head. "I mean, why are you helping us?" "Why?" Shasti sighed, standing up. "Because everything I've believed for the last three years is now dust." "Huh?" Yuri asked. "What does that mean?" "It means, Yuri, Lucifer was responsible for everything that went wrong three years ago," Shasti began to cry. "Wha...?" Kei looked at the bioroid in confusion. "You mean to say that Lacombe worked for Lucifer?!?!" Shasti nodded. "Lucifer set us all up!" Yuri realized. "That's right," Shasti wiped her face off with her arm. "They even arranged to have Biotech screw up my reprogramming." "The mission was designed to fail," Kei gasped, standing. "Deidre would still be alive," Yuri stood up. "Yeah!" Shasti sighed. "So now what?" Kei asked. "We get out of here," Shasti began to walk out of the dungeon. "Er...excuse me, Shasti, but haven't you've forgotten something?" Yuri moved to follow. "I know all the tunnels leading to the hangar bay. I've got a small snub-fighter we can use. It's not comfortable, but it'll do until we get to Kalevela." "Kalevela?!" Kei asked. "Why're we going there?" "No time to explain," Shasti went into a run, leading the Lovely Angels down a corridor. Overhearing the klaxon, Yuri asked "What's going on?!" "The station's under attack," Shasti reported. "By who?" "Blackbeard." "Bl...Blackbeard?!?!" Kei gasped. "Jeez!! This ain't our day!!!" "It never is!!" Yuri snapped in response. * * * The "Queen Elizabeth 2" executed a barrel-roll in the outer fringes of Ciscobar's atmosphere. Rick and Dipsy had spent the last several minutes trying to avoid getting caught in a weapons lock - the station had activated its special defenses as soon as the identity of the visiting ship was ascertained. The big ship was quick to respond to helm commands - as soon the ground weapons controllers seemed to get a good lock, Rick would steer the "Elizabeth" out of harm's way with a quick turn either to port or starboard. "We can't keep this up forever!" Dipsy said. Mughi howled in agreement. "I'm open to suggestions!" Rick responded. "Well, we could pretend we've been hit!" "Huh?" Rick looked over at his friend. "Let them shoot at us!" Dipsy explained. "When the missiles come close, we blow them all apart with the close-in systems! At the same time, we shut everything down - except life-support!!" "They'd believe we're dead!" Rick nodded. "And when they drop their defenses - *whammo!!!*" He accentuated the point with a fist into the palm of his hand. "Let's do it!" Dipsy nodded. * * * Again, the targeting sensors sought out the "Elizabeth." This time, three units got solid locks. Back at the control centre on Ciscobar, the Lucifer technician nodded "We got 'em!" "Then take them down!" Kirkpatrick snapped. "Yessir!" the technician thumbed the firing controls. At separate points around the abandoned complex, hidden missile silos opened up, and several surface-to-air missiles flew off into orbit. Following the track given them by the guidance system onboard and the ground-based tracking system, the group flew in on the Knights' ship. Rick put the "Elizabeth" through a lazy barrel roll to make a simulated escape attempt, but the missiles altered course and homed in... "A hit!" the technician screamed out. "Are you sure?!" the professor asked. "Yes...wait!! One...two...three...four!!! Four confirmed hits!!" "The ship?!" The technician double-checked his scanners before responding "No sign of it!" Kirkpatrick leaned back in his chair. "Should I cancel the alert?" the technician asked. "No!" the professor shook his head. "Keep everyone on standby...just in case." "Yessir!" The intercom on Kirkpatrick's chair signalled. "Yes?" "It's Shasti," her voice called out. "Anything new?" "It appears we've eliminated the intruder. I'm not standing the station down yet, but I suppose it's clear for you to depart." "Thanks," Shasti nodded. "Rendezvous Six?" "Yes," the professor nodded in return. "Take care." * * * "You hate lying to him, don't you?" Yuri asked. Shasti deactivated the intercom and leaned back in her seat. She and the Lovely Angels had managed to get to the main hangar bay undetected during the alert. Now, they were inside the cramped cockpit of a 30-metre class snub-fighter. "Yeah, I do," Shasti sighed. "Don't worry," Kei placed a hand on the bioroid's shoulder. "We'll get him out of this." "Thanks!" Shasti nodded, her eyes filling with tears. Then, she turned on the main power switches. The fighter hummed with power as she guided it out of the hangar on repulsorjets. Once clear of the bay doors, the main engines came on, and the ship soared off into orbit. Once clear of the atmosphere, Shasti set up for a course to the Kalevela Station. Now that no one was watching them, the Angels sat up in the passenger seats and relaxed. Shasti finished programming the controls and said "We're set." A sensor alarm sounded off. Looking at the screen, Shasti saw a large radar blip appear - positioned off to the port side of the shuttle. "What the...?!" Kei looked off to port, and saw the vast bulk of the "Queen Elizabeth 2" hovering menacingly in the distance. "Ohmigod!!!! Look!!!" "Wha...?!?!" Yuri looked over. "Shit!!!" Shasti snapped. Turning on the intercom - but keeping visual down - she said "Professor!!! Blackbeard's ship - it's still around!!" "What?!?!" Kirkpatrick's voice filtered across the speakers. "Confirmed, sir!!!" the technician's voice called out. "They've got weapons lock on us!!!" "Oh, no!" Yuri whispered. "Sound evacuation!!!" Kirkpatrick ordered - just before the communications channel broke up in static. "Wha...?!?!" Shasti cried out. "Professor!!!" * * * "You okay, Dips?" Rick asked. "I'm alright," Dipsy nodded. When the missile blew apart, both Knights had shut everything down as fast as possible - too fast, in fact. Some of the kinetic energy of the blast had hit the "Elizabeth" broadside, throwing the two men and one cat in the cockpit around like rag-dolls. Once the shaking had stopped, Dipsy raised the shields and activated the jammers. Getting back into his seat, Rick programmed the weapons systems. Tracking radar quickly acquired target lock on the mining settlement. "Weapons lock confirmed!!" "Missile bays lowered, missiles active!" Dipsy nodded in return. "Firing!" Rick thumbed the launch trigger. Loud *ca-chunks!* echoed through the ship's hull as a fury of missiles flew out and streaked towards the surface. "Rick!" Dipsy looked up. "There's a ship in orbit!" "Where?!" Rick looked around. "Dead ahead!" Dipsy looked through the viewscreen. "There!" he pointed, spotting the small snub-fighter. "Check the cockpit!" Rick ordered. "Let's see who's onboard!" A camera in the "Elizabeth's" nose focused on the small ship's cockpit. The image was relayed to the view to a monitor screen on the command deck beside Rick. The three beings onboard watched as the image shifted a second before turning into a clear view of... "KEIIIIII!!!!" Mughi howled. "YU-REEEEE!!!!" "Son of a bitch!!" Rick yelled out. "They made it out!" "Who's that other woman?" Dipsy asked. "SHA-STEEEEE!!!!" Mughi answered. "What's going on down below?" Rick turned his attention to Ciscobar. "Missiles on acquiring lock - ten seconds to target!" Dipsy reported. At that second, the snub fighter with Shasti and the Angels turned and flew off into hyperspace. "What the...?!?!" Rick asked. "Where're they goin'?!?!" "Five seconds!" Dipsy reported. A pause, then "Now!!!" Viewed from orbit, the mining settlement on Ciscobar was a minuscule dot. In a milli-second, it flashed bright-white as the warheads hit home. Then, the dot vanished. "Target destroyed," Dipsy relaxed in his seat. "Did the sensors pick up where the girls were going?" Rick asked. "Just a minute!" Dipsy recalibrated the instruments. "Got it! Course three-oh-three by oh-oh-seven. Direct course for the L'Hain system." Looking at Rick, he asked "We follow them?" "Yep!" Rick nodded. "Let's go." The "Queen Elizabeth 2" hurtled off into hyperspace. * * * Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in January 1993 **** **** **** CHAPTER TEN - REUNION AT KALEVELA Shasti's snub-fighter pulled into the small-ship dock at Kalevela. Having arrived in the L'Hain system five hours ago, Shasti and the Lovely Angels waited and watched as ships arrived and departed from the O'Neil station. An hour ago, the "Lovely Angel" came into the system. Using the on-board communications gear, the three people in the snub-ship listened in as the bioroid doubles of Kei and Yuri requested landing clearance at Kalevela. The station authorities gave the Lovely Angel doubles a hell of a time - the station was still recovering from the girls' last case. However, the girls stated they would remain in the hangar as they were waiting to rendezvous with someone. Once clearance had been granted, and the Angels' ship docked, Shasti moved up with the snub-ship and entered the docking pattern. Clearance had been granted ten minutes ago. When the ship was powered down, the Angels and their bioroid friend hopped out and looked around. The small-ship hangar at Kalevela could take ships up to 100 metres in size. Having several electromags stored on the ship, Shasti gave two to Kei and Yuri. Shasti also had a small black box with an antenna. Thus armed and ready, the three girls walked down the runway to where the "Lovely Angel" was parked. Arriving nearby, Kei and Yuri ducked out of sight. Shasti walked on to the boarding ramp of the Wasp-class ship. She waited for a moment before the ramp descended and the bioroid doubles walked down. The Yuri-double had a small bag slung over her shoulder. "You got it?" Shasti asked. "Right here," the Yuri-double unslung the bag and handed it to Shasti. "What now?" the Kei-double asked. Shasti checked the contents of the bag, then palmed the black box. "You two go to sleep." She pressed the button, and the two Lovely Angel bioroids dropped to the floor like marionettes with their strings cut. The real Kei and Yuri walked up and began retrieving their stolen kit. Then, all three dragged the two bioroids into the "Angel's" cargo bay. Once inside, Shasti placed restraining plugs into the doubles' microsofts. That done, they exited the ship. "Man, I'm glad that's over with!" Kei sighed. "We should contact Goulet and tell him we're alright," Yuri sighed. "You should also tell him to prepare himself," Shasti added. "Why?" "Lucifer's plan is to attack Shimogu during the Trans- Galactic Conference." "Wha...?!?!" Kei gasped. "The TGC?!" "Oh, God!!!" Yuri moaned. "All the planetary leaders will be there!!!" The Trans-Galactic Conference, an annual gathering of all the planetary presidents, prime ministers and other key figures, was hosted, in rotation, by the UG government on Earth, the 3WA on Shimogu, the UG Space Police on Dendera and the UG Space Fleet on Mars. No group had ever made an attempt to attack the conference -security was tighter than ever. "Lucifer's got balls!!" Kei snapped. "I think we should call Goulet!" Yuri numbly nodded. Before anyone could say anything else, Kei's earring communicator chimed. "Kalevela Security Control to Lovely Angels. Come in please." "That's Gina!" Yuri nodded. Kei tapped her earring. "This is Kei. Go ahead, Gina." "Kei, can you report to Traffic Control?" Gina, the deputy administrator of Kalevela's security force, asked. "What's the problem?" "We've got a ship coming in," Gina sighed fearfully. "The 'Queen Anne's Revenge!'" * * * Moments later, the Lovely Angels and Shasti arrived at KALTRAFCON (Kalevela Traffic Control). Inside sat Gina Terron, several Kalevela Security personnel, and Cory Emerson! The Angels were heartened at Cory's presence. "Hi, Cory!!" Kei waved. "What're you doing here?!" Yuri hugged Cory. "Not much!" Cory sighed. A blonde-haired woman with expressive blue eyes, Cory had been a reporter for "High Sense" for the past five years. She was assigned some time ago to do a "puff-piece" on the Lovely Angels. The Angels were assigned to the Kalevela smuggling case during this time. Cory was unable to complete her work due to Kuan Yin's censorship of the whole incident. "I was asked by Kalsec to keep an eye on your apartment until this lawsuit was resolved." "It was all we could do, after what happened to her," Gina shrugged. "Thanks!" Yuri nodded. "Oh! Cory, Gina, this is Shasti!" she waved to the bioroid. "She's a former 3WA agent." Yuri decided not to explain the circumstances of Shasti's departure from the agency. Handshakes were exchanged, then Kei asked "What's up?" "They appeared at the edge of the system ten minutes ago," the chief traffic controller explained. "So far, they've done nothing." "Yet," Yuri sighed. "Is the station defended?!" Kei asked. "Yes," Gina nodded. "Pulse cannons and missile banks." "That should work," Yuri nodded. "However!" Gina sighed. "Some of the master controls were shorted out when the grav-bomb went off. We've tried to jury-rig new controls, but so far, it's no go." "Sir," one of the technicians looked up. "They're hailing us." The large monitor screen fuzzed for a second, before solidifying into a scene of a ship's command deck. To the Angels' complete shock, Rick and Dipsy, with Mughi in the middle, sat relaxed in the pilot, co-pilot and passenger seats. "KALTRAFCON, this is the 3WA patrol ship 'Queen Elizabeth 2.' Come in please." Puzzled, Gina looked at Kei. "Oh, God!!!" Yuri moaned in complete embarrassment. Cory caught that immediately. "Friends of yours?" "You could say that!" Yuri sighed. "Are they safe?" Gina asked. "It's safe to say that," Kei shrugged. Gina sighed, and turned to the chief traffic controller. "Allow them to dock. Call Kalsec Milnetcon and instruct them to have a small contingent of personnel at the large ship dock. I'll meet them there." "Yes, ma'am!" the controller nodded. * * * Twenty minutes later, the "Queen Elizabeth 2" sat parked in a remote slot in Kalevela's large ship dock. Waiting outside the boarding ramp were the Lovely Angels, Shasti, Cory, Gina and a section of Kalsec personnel. The boarding ramp lowered and Rick and Dipsy strolled out. Rick pulled out his 3WA ID card and flashed it to Gina. "Knights of Saint George. Rick Thomas, Dipsy Doolittle," he nodded to his friend. Then, to Kei and Yuri, he asked "Where the hell were you guys?!?! We've been looking over half the galaxy for you!!" "Er...where the heck did you get this ship?" Kei asked. "Well, we had to 'borrow' it," Rick shrugged nonchalantly, looking pointedly at Dipsy, who nodded confirmation. "Wait a minute!" Yuri interrupted. "We left you guys back at Optima. What happened?!" "We should tell them," Dipsy sighed. "I suppose," Rick nodded. "Oh, by the way! We picked up a space vagabond that might know you!" He turned to the "Elizabeth" and said "Come outta there!!" Mughi ran down the ramp, nearly knocking over the Lovely Angels in his joy to see them. "Hiya, Mughi!!" Kei moaned as she hugged the bear-cat. Then, to Rick "Thanks." "Anytime," Rick smiled. "I smell a story here!" Cory spoke up. Having listened to the conversation, she began to add things up. "Who're you?" Dipsy asked. "Cory Emerson, 'High Sense.'" "Ack!!" Rick gaped. "Reporter alert!!" Dipsy shook his head in disgust at the joke. "Please forgive my friend. He has an enormous aversion to any journalist." Kei interrupted "Can we get an explanation, please!!" "Sure, sure," Rick nodded. * * * The Lovely Angels, the Knights of Saint George, Mughi, Shasti and Cory made their way back to the Angels' apartment. Inside, Cory set up a round of drinks for everyone. Rick and Dipsy relayed their tale about what happened on Optima. The Angels then explained to the Knights what was going on vis-a-via Professor Kirkpatrick and the planned Lucifer attack on Shimogu. Later, Shasti explained what was planned to happen. "...Lucifer intends to use a mix of independent A/Ps, bioroids, androids, robots and mercs to infiltrate 3WA headquarters. Your doubles..." she looked at the Angels "...were supposed to be used to get inside the defense screens. Once the force is inside 3WA HQ, they're to make their way to the meeting hall and take as many people hostage as possible." "How would the 3WA security be defeated?" Yuri asked. "You remember Professor Wattsman?" Shasti asked in return. The Lovely Angels moaned, remembering Wattsman and his creatures well. Shasti carried on "Lucifer sent a team to Agrana to get samples of the E.D.E.N. monsters. They've grown their own batch. They're the ones that'll take care of security." "Nice plan," Kei shook his head in disgust. "So how to we stop it?" "We find out where the staging area is, and blow the place to kingdom come," Rick spoke up. "We have to get Professor Kirkpatrick out of there!" Yuri looked between Rick and Shasti. "He's innocent of any wrongdoing." "I'll take care of that!" Shasti rose her hand. "Great," Kei nodded. "Where is the staging area?" Dipsy asked. "Rendezvous Six," Shasti replied. "The Lucifer surface base on Dolz." "Dolz?!" Kei stared. "I thought we cleaned up that place!!" "You got rid of the station," Shasti shook her head. "Not the surface base." "Oh!" Yuri nodded in understanding. Things fell quiet for a minute. Rick's eyes found their way to the pouch at Shasti's side. "What's in there?" "Huh?!" Shasti looked up. "What's in the bag?" "Oh!! Oh, this!" Shasti looked down at the bag. "That's the bag my double gave you!" Yuri looked at Shasti. "I know." "Where did they get it from?" Kei asked. "The medical facility on Megana." "Why?" Shasti reached into the pouch and pulled out two objects. One appeared to be a small computer chip in a plastic bag. The other appeared to be an old-style computer diskette. On it was written the notation 'HOLLANDER, DEIDRE B.' Both Lovely Angels recognized it immediately. "Those're cell samples and a brainchip!!!" "Of Deidre?!" Kei asked. "Yes," Shasti nodded. "Those were supposed to be destroyed!" Kei said. "They weren't, thankfully," Shasti nodded. "The chief technician at Megana's been waiting for orders from Goulet or Calico to clone Deidre a new body to house her brainchip. No orders were ever given to destroy the chip or the samples." "What do you intend to do?" Yuri asked. "There's a medical facility here on Kalevela. It's run by a friend of the professor's. Professor Kirkpatrick arranged to have Deidre cloned there." "That's...that's wonderful, Shasti," Yuri whispered, a tear running down her face in sympathy. "How long will it take?" Kei asked. "Six days," Shasti sighed. "When is this operation supposed to begin?" Dipsy asked. "The TGC is set for three weeks from now," Yuri looked at him. "I suspect it'll be sometime then. We've got enough time." Rick had remained silent through the exchange. He had a very thoughtful look on his face. Dipsy recognized it immediately "What are you thinking?" "You know," Rick smiled a Cheshire cat-smile. "It's too bad that we couldn't get everyone together and take care of everything at once." "Whatever do you mean?" Dipsy asked playfully. "Well, you know. Donald Stuart and his crew, the Lucifer gang...heck, even any friends of Blackbeard's who might come after us for killing their boss." "And how do you propose to do that?!?!" Dipsy urged. "Chill out, Dips!!" Rick laughed. "Here's what we'll do..." * * * Hundreds of light-years away from Kalevela stood the abandoned prison asteroid of Purgatory. It's real name had been forgotten by most of the United Galactica's citizens over the years as the infamy of the pirates based there grew into legend. Currently, there were four hundred separate pirate crews at the station. Although they did not respond to one particular superior - each team was in constant competition with the other - there was a central communications hub for everyone to use. Currently working in the communications centre were several pirates, all from different crews. Monitoring one receiver was a woman who worked mostly with Blackbeard. She was about to go off shift when a incoming message beeper sounded off. Pressing the control, she was nearly blown back by a wall of static. Dull explosions sounded off through the noise, and a weak voice called out between bursts of static "Pu...Purgatory Sta-a-ay- tion....'Queen Anne's Revenge'....in." The pirate woman was jolted out of her seat by the message. Blackbeard and his crew were a week overdue from their last mission. Normally, radio silence was maintained, preventing UGSP patrols from tracing pirate movements. A message like this, broken up as it was, was sent only in dire emergencies. "'Queen Anne's Revenge,' this is Purgatory Station. Repeat your last message, please." "Can....repeat....listen, please....emergency. Captain....is dead...." came over the transmitter. Another wall of noise sounded off, then the transmission cleared. "....last orders. We have the captain's last orders. You comprehend, Purgatory?" "Roger, 'Revenge,' you're coming in clear, now. Send the message." "Optima raid was a set-up. Lucifer informed 3WA and UGSP about it. All other ships are lost. 'Revenge' crippled, power is failing." A pause "Will not surrender the ship." The pirate nodded in complete pride "What is the captain's message?" The transmission became garbled with static "...Lucifer plans time-travel mission....alter history....Nova Albion....orders you to destroy...." The static overwhelmed the transmission. "God!" the pirate hissed as she turned down the volume. Looking to her side, she noticed the other pirates staring at her. Mixed expressions of shock and sympathy competed across their faces. "Lord, I'm sorry," a crewmember from Johann Stanger's ship shook his head. "Capt'n Teach was a good man. I'll goes and tell Capt'n Stanger." With that, he walked out of the room. The pirate, now orphaned from Blackbeard's crew, slumped in her seat and began to cry from frustration and loss. * * * "Nicely done," Dipsy smiled. He and Rick were in the cockpit of the "Queen Elizabeth 2." With a little help from Kalsec, who provided a communications jammer simulating battle interference, the Knights of Saint George were able to convince the Purgatory pirates the "Queen Anne's Revenge" had gone down with all hands. Even better, they managed to place the blame on Lucifer! "Thanks," Rick got up and walked out of the cockpit. Dipsy followed him out. "I still say this plan of your's is on very thin ice." "Complain, complain!" Rick shook his head. "As far as the creeps on Purgatory are concerned, the Lucifer syndicate are to blame for Blackbeard's demise. Now, if these pirates are loyal, they'll want to get even." "And telling them the time-gate operation on Nova Albion is a Lucifer plan to alter the course of history...?" "Is icing on the cake!" Rick strolled out of the large ship dock and moved into the small ship one, where the "Lovely Angel" was parked. The ship's ramp was opened, and the Knights saw that Cory and Mughi were waiting outside. "What's up?" "Shasti's contacting Kirkpatrick now," the reporter said. "They're assuming Lucifer is monitoring the call, so they won't mention anything about Lacombe." "Kei and Yuri playing their parts?" Rick asked. Cory nodded. "Like they were themselves...on downers!" * * * "Where are you now?" Kirkpatrick asked. Shasti and the Lovely Angels were seated in the "Lovely Angel's" cockpit. Both girls, pretending to be their bioroid doubles, were laid back in the passenger seats, fake restraining plugs in their microsofts. Shasti replied "Still at Kalevela. The delivery was made." "Excellent," the professor nodded. "Delivery should be within a week," Shasti completed. "Good. Oh, Shasti, did you know that the real Angels escaped?" "Yes, sir. They stowed away on my ship. I managed to overpower them, and put them into the cargo bay of the 'Angel.'" "Ah, well done!" "Professor, there's something you should know." "That is?" "Before I captured them, I overheard Kei and Yuri mention something about a time-travel experiment currently being carried out on Nova Albion." "Time travel?" Kirkpatrick looked stunned. "Yes, sir. It seems Kei's cousin Donald Stuart has instigated a plan to alter history. He hired a quantum physicist, Albert Wainwright, to create a time-portal." "Using the time-portal, he could alter crucial events in world history!" the professor gasped, the full picture of what Donald was planning hitting home. "Good God!! Is there anything else?!?!" "Yes. The Angels were able to destroy the lab the time- portal was housed in, but they believed another time-portal is still intact." Kirkpatrick shook his head. "I'm glad you told me this. I will inform our friends and see what they intend to do about it." Shasti nodded. "I'll see you in a week." The transmission was cut. At that moment, Kei let out a yawn and stretched her arms. The Knights of Saint George walked into the cockpit. "How'd it go?" Rick asked. "Like clockwork," Shasti nodded, shutting off the communications board. "Well, the bait is set and the trap prepared," Dipsy mused. "All we have to do is see if the fish will bite." * * * Two days later. Purgatory. The main assembly hall for the "Freebooters and Free-Traders Alliance of Purgatory," as the pirates tended to label their informal group, was formerly the prison exercise area. Currently, it was filled with pirates of every type imaginable. Captain Johann Stanger, one of the more notorious of the commanders based here, mounted the jury-rigged speakers' platform, and the unruly mob quieted down. Once there was little noise, Stanger, a large black man with a missing right eye, spoke out. "Fellow freebooters. Two days ago, we lost a close friend. Let us take a moment of silence to remember Captain Edward Teach and his crew." Facing the night sky, Stanger added "Edward Teach, we shall not forget you!" "AYE!!!!" the pirates shouted, then fell silent. A minute later, heads bowed in respect rose up to look at Stanger. The pirate captain carried on "Before his death, Captain Teach's crew informed us of a sinister plan - a sinister plan instigated by those devils of the Lucifer Syndicate." A roar of boos, hisses and cat-calls filled the chamber. "They now intend to destroy our history...by *creating their own!!!*" The room grew deathly still. "Will we stand for it?!?!" "NO!!!!" the crowd roared in unison. "Will we let them get away with it?!?!" "NO!!!!!" "Will we stop them?!?!" "AYE!!!!!" "Then, honoured friends," Stanger breathed in. "Man your ships!!! We're off to Nova Albion!!!!" * * * A day after. Dolz. The ruling council of the Lucifer Syndicate was composed of thirteen people - thirteen because of the unlucky heritage of the number, and ascertaining that no decision rendered by the council would result in a tie. The council was as mysterious as some of the operations run by Lucifer. Whenever an outside met them, it was always in a empty chamber with a projection screen on them. Faces were always in shadow, thus a spy would not be able to identify any member of the ruling council. In the meeting room sat Kirkpatrick and the Dolz supervisor, Howard Dawson's brother Steven. The councillors, known only by a number, were in shadow on the screen. Kirkpatrick had just finished relaying Shasti's report to the council. "Professor, this information you've passed to us is very disturbing," Number Eight, the operations director, began. "I agree, sir," Kirkpatrick nodded. "I also agree this issue should be addressed." "So close to the Trans-Galactic Conference," Number Four, the planning chief, shook his head. "I realize the timing is annoying, but the facts are plain. No matter what we do, everything in existence would be rendered academic by Donald Stuart." "Is your agent's information reliable?" Number One asked. "It is," Kirkpatrick nodded. "Gentlemen, ladies," Dawson spoke up for the first time. "I realize this call is unprecedented. To confirm the professor's information, I contacted our observers on Nova Albion." "And...?!" Number Two, the vice-director, asked. "Six weeks ago, Professor Albert Wainwright completed a device he called a 'timegate.' The intentions of the timegate, as stated, was to provide a 'window' of sorts on historical events. In a subsequent test, witnessed by over a hundred people, two men from the twentieth century were brought to Nova Albion." Dawson shrugged, shaking his head. "If that's not proof, I don't know what is." "I agree," Number Nine, vice-operations chief, nodded. "I move the Trans-Galactic case be postponed until such time as this threat is eliminated." "I second that," Number Three spoke up. "Very well," Number One nodded. "All in favour?" All hands went up. "Excellent," Number One nodded again. "Mister Dawson?" "Yes, sir!" Dawson nodded. "You and Professor Kirkpatrick are hereby directed to commence an attack operation on Nova Albion." Number Eight added. "Your operational directive is to destroy the timegate. Also, if possible, destroy any equipment or information necessary to create another one. If you can, capture Professor Wainwright..." "If you can't," Number Two interrupted. "Kill him." "Either which way, destroy Donald Stuart's chances of altering history," Number Eight concluded. "And what should we do to Stuart?" Kirkpatrick asked. "Eliminate him," Number One gravely nodded. * * * Three days later. Kalevela... "'Windrider' to 'Lovely Angel.' Come in, 'Lovely Angel.'" Kei pressed the communications toggle. On a small screen in the ship's command deck, an image of Thomas and Peter Windrider, twin Amerindian brothers known by their last names, came on the screen. The Windriders, criminal trouble consultants, had joined the 3WA two years before the Angels. Thomas and Peter were full- blooded Mohawk Iroquois, and normally walked around in t-shirts, animal skin pants, moccasins and warpaint all over their face. To assist their friends and co-workers in telling them apart, Thomas and Peter wore different patterns painted on their faces. It was Thomas that initiated the signal. "This is 'Lovely Angel.' Go ahead, 'Windrider,'" Kei responded. "'Lovely Angel.' Please note a large force of pirates have departed Purgatory. Their destination appears to be Nova Albion. Acknowledge." "'Windrider,' we acknowledge. Advise ETA?" "ETA two days." "Got it!" Kei sat up in the pilot's seat. "Thanks, fellas!" "Need some help?" Peter asked. "We can use it! See you there," Kei laughed. "We're on our way!" Thomas nodded. "'Windrider' out." "'Lovely Angel' out!" Kei shut off the communications board. At that time, Yuri and the Knights walked into the cockpit. "Who was that?" "Tom and Pete Windrider," Kei looked at her partner, then to Rick. "The pirates took the bait. They'll be at Nova Albion in two days." "That's one," Rick nodded. Shasti walked into the cockpit. "I just got two calls." "Who?" Kei asked. "First, from the Professor. Lucifer's ruling council cancelled the Trans-Galactic case." "And?" Dipsy prodded. "They're moving off today to Nova Albion. ETA is a day and a half." "Six hours between arrivals," Dipsy shrugged. "Might be touchy." "It's good enough," Rick sighed. "You said two calls," Kei looked at Shasti. "Oh, yeah! The second one's a surprise." * * * The Lovely Angels, Shasti and the Knights of Saint George arrived at the Kalevela Medical Clinic. Six days before, Shasti had left Deidre's genetic material and brainchip in the hands of Professor Franklin Lambert, the medical clinic's director. The group of 3WA agents were met by the director and Cory at the front doors. They were led to the fifth floor and a section called 'GENETIC RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT.' No one said anything as they walked into the recovery ward, and into a specific room. Rick and Dipsy posted themselves outside to watch for incoming traffic as the girls entered. Passing around a mobile privacy curtain, Shasti saw there was one bed in the room. Walking with understandable hesitation, Shasti approached the bed and whispered "Deidre?" The form on the bed, covered from head to toe in blankets, stirred. The blankets fell away as a frizzy tussle of blonde hair and a cherubic face appeared. The eyes squinted slightly as the woman concentrated on the bioroid standing beside her. "Sha...sha....Shasti?" Tears streamed down her face. "Hi, Deidre." "Wha...what happened?" Deidre asked hesitantly. "There was an accident," Shasti sighed. "Your old body was killed." Deidre nodded understanding. The practice of cloning bodies for those killed in battle was a long-standing one. "Are you okay?" she asked. Shasti shook her head, tears free-falling from her eyes. Spreading her arms wide to embrace her partner, Shasti mumbled "I am now." * * * Dirty Pair: The Trans-Galactic Case by Fred Herriot 450 Clare Avenue South, Welland, Ontario L3C 3B3 Canada fdh@caffeine.havajava.com **** **** **** edited by E.B. Kushnir **** **** **** Based on the works by Haruka Takachiho **** **** **** WRITER'S NOTES: This story was originally written as a fanzine in January 1993 **** **** **** CHAPTER ELEVEN - CRASH THE PARTY The "Queen Elizabeth 2" warped out of hyperspace over Dolz. After the Lovely Angels and Shasti were reunited with Deidre, the Knights of Saint George sent a full report to Goulet on Shimogu. In it, they detailed Lucifer's amended plans to hit Nova Albion. Conveniently, they did not mention the fact this whole thing had been concocted by Rick to get everyone into the open, and allow the Knights, in the resulting melee, to get their own revenge on Donald Stuart. Goulet okayed the operation with a nod. Once Deidre was ambulatory, the Lovely Angels and Shasti took off to intercept the forces converging on Nova Albion. The Knights of Saint George, with Deidre, Mughi and Cory, headed to Dolz to handle any Lucifer personnel still on the planet. "Traffic Control is hailing us," Dipsy reported. "Maintain radio silence," Rick ordered. "Entering the atmosphere." The "Elizabeth," somewhat larger than a twentieth-century passenger jet, sliced through the evening sky. The Lucifer base, a rebuilt spaceport, was located in one of the more remote sections of the planet. "Base detection devices down, no sign of active sensor units," Dipsy read down the scanning report. "Looks safe," Deidre spoke from the passenger seat. "Don't bet on it," Rick mumbled, adjusting the ship's steering planes. "Any sign of passive units?" "Yes, there are several such units," Dipsy nodded. "Power grid throughout the station is minimal." "They must have abandoned it," Cory mused. "Doubtful," Dipsy shook his head. Rick guided the "Elizabeth" in and set the ship down in a clear field in front of the station's main gates. There was no sign of any activity in the station. The Knights went back into the armoury and broke out their weapons. Rick took a Colt Python revolver, a C7/M203 rifle/grenade launcher combination and a C1A1 heavy assault rifle. Dipsy reflected his partner's choice with a Desert Eagle pistol, a IW85 rifle, a M79 grenade launcher and a L1A1 rifle. Cory brought along the electro-magnetic pulse gun she got in the Kalevela case, and Deidre had an electromag. Once armed, Rick called forward to Mughi "Stay in the ship and keep a watch for anything!" Mughi growled. Rick pressed the boarding ramp controls. "Let's move!" The four people walked out of the ship and carefully ventured to the main gate. Rick blew off the lock with a shot. Once inside the compound, the Knights fell to the side, both rifles sweeping in arcs with their eyes. Deidre took point and Cory fell to the rear. "Halt!!!" a voice barked out from a nearby guard tower. The four spun around and looked. Inside the guard tower stood the duplicates of the three Lucien Genetics personnel the Angels had met on Crysostome. All three were armed with electromags. "Whaddayawant?" Rick snapped. "You will surrender," Mary replied. Her voice was the even monotone of a robot. "I don't think so...hit 'em!!!" Rick barked. Everyone on the ground opened up with their weapons. The guard tower was deluged with bolts of energy and nearly-invisible solid shot. The three bioroids were riddled with bullet wounds, but did not fall. Rick lowered his weapons and gaped as the three took an unbelievable amount of damage. "God-damn!" he hissed. A violent roar of energy shook him out of his revelry. Looking to his right, he saw Cory aim the EMP gun at the tower and let loose with a bolt of energy. The gun worked in the same fashion as EMP energy from a nuclear blast - it shorted out any electrical impulse it came in contact with. The bolt encompassed the heads of the three bioroids. They froze for a second, then dropped in a heap on the ground. Rick nodded to Cory "Nice shot." "Th-thanks!" Cory gasped, the fear running out of her. "Boy! The things I go through for a story." The four people got up and began walking towards the main building. Passing through the front door, they arrived at a central reception area. Most of the inside looked abandoned, with parts of chairs, desks and other furniture scattered all over. Rick surveyed the scene, then said "Okay, we split up. Deidre with Dipsy, Cory with me. Anything you see that looks unusual, holler over the line." The Knights both wore earring communicators - the cybernetics in their bodies forbade the use of wristwatch communicators like normal male trouble consultants had. Everyone nodded, and the groups separated. Rick and Cory strolled up a level, and began scouting the various workshops and labs. Walking along, Cory asked "How does it feel?" "Huh?" Rick looked at her. "How does it feel," Cory shrugged, pointing the EMP gun in front of her. "You know, coming from the twentieth century." "How did you guess?" "I'm a reporter. I'm supposed to figure things out." Rick nodded. "A better sight over a lot of reporters from my time." "Oh, the 'tabloid' era," Cory nodded understandingly. "That ended in the middle of the last century." The two walked on. Cory tried to make idle conversation with Rick, but the Canadian infantryman was all business. The two arrived at the last lab to find the door slightly ajar. Rick gently pushed the door open, to find a body laid out on the deck. It was Edward Kirkpatrick. Leaning down, Rick took the pulse. The professor was still alive. Beginning first aid procedure, Rick tapped his communicator. Dipsy responded immediately "Is something wrong?" "I found Kirkpatrick," Rick responded. He checked the microsoft plugs behind the ears - no A/P implants. Breathing was ragged and normal. X-ray scans revealed to him that this was the real professor, not some android or bioroid double. "It's him. He's alive." "Lucifer must've decided to get rid of him," Dipsy mused. Kirkpatrick stirred, rubbing a bruise on his head. Rick eased the professor into a sitting position. He leaned in front and asked "You okay?" "I'm fine, thank you," Kirkpatrick moaned. "Who are you?" "Rick Thomas, 3WA." Rick chucked a thumb to Cory. "Cory Emerson, 'High Sense.'" Kirkpatrick nodded. "What are you doing here?" "We came to shut this place down. It seems they beat us to it." "Ohhhhh!" the professor moaned again as he stood. "The last thing I remember was walking to the hangar bay to board my ship. We were about to go to Nova Albion." "I know," Rick nodded. "I planned this whole mess." "You did what?!" Kirkpatrick gasped in shock. "Relax, willya! Look, the Stuart thing is true! All we're doing is gathering all the nuts in the galaxy together and getting rid of them in one sweep!!" "Efficient," Kirkpatrick shrugged. "Is anyone going there?" "Shasti and the Lovely Angels. We'll be heading off as soon as you're safe." "Oh, no!" the professor shook his head. "I intend to help as best as I can!!" Cory added two and two together. "You knew..." "Huh?" Rick looked at her. "You knew all along about what Lucifer had done!" Cory looked at the professor in stunned disbelief. "It was easy, once you knew where to look," Kirkpatrick smiled. "I was planning on stopping these fools myself, once I got confirmation." "The call Shasti made," Cory nodded. "That was it." Rick's communicator chimed. "I say," Dipsy called out. "What's up?" Rick asked. "Deidre and I've found a bomb." "How soon?!" Rick asked. "Oh, not for another five minutes," Dipsy replied calmly. "Whew!" Rick sighed in relief. "Heck with it, let's get out of here." The three 3WA agents, the reporter and the professor rushed out of the building with two minutes to spare. Mughi had, on Rick's instructions, taxied the "Queen Elizabeth 2" to the front gate. Everyone scrambled onboard as the big ship lifted off the surface of Dolz. In a minute, she was in orbit, as the small dot indicating the Lucifer station on Dolz exploded into bright white light. Once clear of the atmosphere, the Knights of Saint George steered their ship in the direction of Nova Albion, and disappeared into hyperspace. * * * The central controller at New Aberdeen Spaceport watched in stunned disbelief as a massive fleet of ships appeared out of hyperspace over Nova Albion. This style of de-warping close to a planet was frowned upon by most controllers. No one could know what might happen should a ship collide with another one coming out of hyperspace. Angry at the insane breach of common sense, the controller hit the communications button and snapped "Nova Albion Traffic Control to approachin' fleet!!! Come in!!" The viewscreen above the controller's head dissolved into the Lucifer insignia. The controller gasped in complete surprise as Steven Dawson's voice echoed over the speakers. "This is...Lucifer! Your planet is under seige by our forces! Surrender now, or die!!" "Lucifer," the controller gasped. Fearfully, he reached for the hotline to Castle Stuart. * * * Donald Stuart was busy sharpening his claymore in his grandmother's den when the vidphone signalled. Reaching over, he asked "Yes?" "Sir, there's a call from New Aberdeen Spaceport," his secretary said. "What do they want?" "They say an invasion force is in orbit over the planet," the secretary shrugged. "Wha...?!" Donald gaped in surprise. "Put them through." "Yes, sir." A moment later, the face of the chief traffic controller, white with horror, came on the screen. "What is it?" Donald asked. "S...S...Sir!!!" the controller shakily saluted. "Th...there's an in...invasion force over...the...the planet!" "Invasion force?!?!" Donald now took what was happening seriously. "From where?" "They say th...they're from Lu....lu....Lucifer." "Lucifer, eh?!" Donald mused. In his many shady dealings, the current clan patriarch had to deal with the crime syndicate's lackeys time and time again. "Put me through," he ordered. "Yessir," the technician nodded, pressing link-up controls. The Lucifer symbol appeared on the screen, then dissolved into Steven Dawson's face. "Mister Stuart?" "Yes...Mister Dawson, isn't it?" Donald asked. "It is," Dawson nodded. He and Donald had met two years back, when the latter was engaged in black-market vizorium dealing. "So, what brings you people to this part of the galaxy?" Donald asked. "We've heard about your 'timegate!'" Dawson snapped. "We won't allow you to alter history!!!" Donald looked at Dawson in complete shock. His plans vis-a- vis the timegate were top secret...only ten people on Nova Albion knew what was the actual intention for the device. "How did...?!" he muttered aloud, before realizing. "Dirty Pair," he hissed. "Quite correct," Dawson nodded. "Now, surrender!!" Donald roared back "Death first!!!" He shut off the vidphone, then pressed a red button on his desk. A second later, a video screen extracted itself from the desk. On it was the image of the commander of the Nova Albion Defense Forces. "Yes, Mister Stuart!" the commander saluted. "There's an invasion force in orbit over the planet!" Donald snapped. "Eliminate it!!!" "Aye, sir!" the commander saluted again. The screen went dark. Donald reached for his phone and dialled a number. The video screen on the phone dissolved into Albert Wainwright's face. "Yes, Mister Stuart?" "Are you ready?" Donald asked. "A force from Lucifer's arrived." "I'm aware of that!" the professor nodded. "Twenty minutes." "Good!" Donald nodded. "I'll be there!!" * * * "All ships in attack position, sir," the Lucifer operations officer looked over at Dawson. They stood on the command bridge of the lead invasion craft. "Excellent!" Dawson nodded. "Prepare landers for attack!" "Aye, sir!" "Mister Dawson!!" a radar technician called out. "What?!?!" "A large group of ships just warped out!!" the technician looked at his screen. "Over a hundred ships...they're in orbit with us!!!" "Who are they?!?!" The technician's face went white. "Pirates, sir." * * * "Who in God's name are they?!?!" the chief traffic controller at New Aberdeen gaped. The skies over the planet were becoming a controller's worst nightmare!! "Pirate raiders!!" a junior technician snapped. "All from Purgatory!!!" "I don't need this!" the chief mumbled under his breath. The communications system erupted into a burst of static. Johann Stanger's voice barked over the speakers. "This is Captain Johann Stanger of the Freebooters and Free-Traders Alliance of Purgatory!!! You stand accused of attempting to destroy civilized life!! Now, you will face punishment!!" The technician looked to his supervisor, hoping to make sense of this insane situation. The chief, unfortunately, had collapsed into baby jitters on the deck. * * * "Pirates?" Albert Wainwright nodded in complete disbelief. He had been monitoring the events of the past ten minutes from a secure lab deep within a mountain near his old labsite. The professor had finished work on the new timegate two days ago, and had run tests on it. Now, the machine was slowly drawing in power from the generators - enough power to allow human transit. On the radar screen, several more blips appeared on the edge. Near the centre, the mass of blips identifying the Lucifer and pirate fleets were closing in on each other. The physicist did not need much more information to deduce that a battle was about to begin. He asked "Computer, identify the newcomers?" "Worlds Welfare Work Association patrol ships," the computer responded in a pleasant female voice. "Identified as 'Lovely Angel,' 'Windrider,' 'Supertrooper,' 'Storm Maiden' and 'Queen Elizabeth 2.'" "'Queen Elizabeth 2?!'" Wainwright wondered aloud. "Who're they?" "Identified as reserve trouble-consultant team Knights of Saint George. Members include Richard Thomas and David 'Dipsy' Doolittle." "Oh!!" the professor gaped. * * * "Wow!!!" Yuri gasped as the "Lovely Angel" and her companion ships came out of hyperspace. In front of them was a scene from Armageddon! Lucifer saucers jockeyed into firing positions with pirate raiders. Missiles, laser bolts, particle cannon blasts and weapons of every type flew in every direction. Ships disintegrated and body parts scattered as gunners made scores. Both fleets were totally ignorant of the new threat looming on the horizon, they were so intent on destroying each other. "Should we get involved?" Shasti asked from the passenger seat. "No way!" Kei shook her head. "Not until things calm down." * * * On the command deck of the "Queen Elizabeth 2," Rick watched his plan unfold in clockwork precision. Numb to the fact that people were killing each other out there, the Canadian soldier relaxed in his chair. "Nice plan," Cory smiled from the passenger seat. "Thanks," Rick nodded. Dipsy, in the meantime, had been busy with the sensory. "I do believe I've found something." "What?" Deidre asked. "This ship comes with very decent sensors," Dipsy explained. "They've detected a large chamber in a mountain near the old timegate site." "Can we land there?!" Rick sat up. "There's room," Dipsy nodded. Rick growled as the heat of revenge filled his heart. He pressed the communications toggle and said "Kei?!" "What's up?" Kei asked from the "Lovely Angel." "We found Wainwright's lab." To Dipsy, he asked "Any signs of mechanical activity?" "Lots!" Dipsy nodded. "The sensors are also detecting energies they can't identify." "The timegate!" Yuri's voice came over the speakers. "We're going in!" Rick pressed controls. "Cover us!!" The "Queen Elizabeth 2" shot out of the 3WA formation like a cannonball, directly aimed for Castle Stuart. * * * In the control centre of New Aberdeen Spaceport, one of the technicians looked up to see a single blip descend on the radar screen. Looking back to see his supervisor mumbling incoherently on the floor, the technician called "Approaching ship, this is Nova Albion Traffic Control." "Nova Albion Traffic Control, this is the 3WA patrol ship 'Queen Elizabeth 2,'" Rick's voice echoed through the speakers. "Be advised Donald Stuart stands accused of the murder of Mary Stuart, the clan matriarch. Professor Albert Wainwright also stands accused as an accessory to the crime." "Murder?!?!" the technician gasped. Most of the residents of Nova Albion had been told the death of Mary Stuart was accidental! "Any planetary authority that interferes with arrest procedure will also be accused as accessories," Rick added. "Er...acknowledged, 'Queen Elizabeth 2,'" the technician nodded numbly. "Landing clearance granted." The ship put down in a gully beside the mountain housing Wainwright's lab. Rick and Dipsy stood up and walked back to the ship's armoury. Both men got out their pistols and light assault rifles, then stepped off the ship. Kirkpatrick, Cory and Deidre followed the Knights of Saint George. Rick cocked the action of his C7, loaded a grenade into the M203, then said "You three stay here. Guard the ship." To Dipsy "Let's go." They marched to the mountain. * * * "'Elizabeth's' down on the deck," Yuri reported. The "Lovely Angel" were now entering the atmosphere in the trail of the Knights' ship. "There clearance to land?" Kei asked. "No problem," Yuri shook her head. The "Angel" passed through the lowermost level of clouds. A commanding view of the area around the "Queen Elizabeth 2" came into view. The Angels could make out two ant-like dots - Rick and Dipsy - walking towards the mountain where Wainwright had placed his new lab. Looking about, Kei spotted another dot heading towards the mountain from the direction of Castle Stuart. Using a high-resolution camera, Kei took a closer look. It was Donald Stuart. "Got you!!" Kei hissed. The communications console lit up. Yuri pressed the receiving button. Goulet's face filled the screen. "Chief?!" Kei gasped. "Good news, girls," Goulet nodded. "The president of Nova Albion's rescinded the restriction preventing you people from doing your job here." "That's a moot point now, Chief!" Kei nodded. "We've got Donald in sight." "Good!!" Goulet nodded. "And, girls..." "Yes?!" the Angels asked together. "Try to bring this one in alive!" Goulet moaned. * * * Donald was walking briskly towards the entrance to Wainwright's lab when the "Lovely Angel" appeared out of nowhere and landed in his path! The clan patriarch doubled back in disbelief as the boarding ramp lowered and the Angels themselves ran out, weapons at the ready. "Freeze, 3WA!!!" Kei barked. Donald laughed "You can't touch me!!" "Wanna bet?!?!" Yuri snapped. "Move, and you'll find out!" Donald snarled, reaching for his electromag. Kei got off a shot, which zinged past his shoulder. His electromag barked in reply, missing the two girls by many yards. Yuri fired a shot, then snap-threw the Bloody Card. The card whizzed through the air and caught the Stuart clan leader in the jugular. He dropped in a heap on the ground. Yuri reached up and caught the Card on its return. Kei walked up to the still-shivering body, then whispered "Rest in peace, Aunt Mary. Rest in peace, Grandpa." * * * Rick and Dipsy had found the hidden entrance to Wainwright's lab, using a combination of heat and X-ray scanners in their eyes. A boulder blocked the entrance, so the two men had to use their cybernetic strength to push it aside. They walked into a tunnel that led into the same laboratory set-up they first saw when they arrived in this time. "Come in, gentlemen," Albert Wainwright looked up from the master control board. Rick and Dipsy took several steps, rifles at the ready. The professor waved at the central vortex cubicle "It's ready." "What's ready?" Rick asked. "The timegate," Wainwright nodded at the cubicle. "I've programmed your return journey." "I beg your pardon?" Dipsy asked. "You mean you're gonna send us back?" Rick pointed at the cubicle. "Yes!!" the professor nodded, turning on the scanner. The time vortex appeared in the cubicle. Turning on the monitor screen, Wainwright began to focus on the Petawawa training fields. A minute later, the image on the screen solidified to reveal the campsite where the two infantrymen were last in the twentieth century. It was dawn, and several soldiers were busy looking around for their sergeants! "Hey!!!" Rick snapped. "Those're our patrols!!" "Egad!!" Dipsy gasped. "I can send you back right now!" Wainwright pointed at the monitor screen. "I could deposit you nearby, and you can explain everything!! They won't know what happened!" Both infantrymen were severely tempted by the offer. Much as the twenty-second century could offer them, both Rick and Dipsy had families and friends waiting for them at the other end of the vortex. At that moment, the Lovely Angels burst into the room, weapons at the ready! "Freeze, 3WA!!!" Yuri barked, then gaped at the image on the monitor screen. "Don't interrupt!!!" Wainwright snapped. Rick and Dipsy looked back at Kei and Yuri, then looked at each other. Their thoughts were alike at that moment - which way to go: either stay in the twenty-second century with all the many unknowns of this time, or head back to the twentieth, with all its problems. Rick rubbed his free hand over his skin, feeling the cybernetic chainmail several layers below the surface. Looking up at the screen, he knew what would happen if anyone stumbled on their cybernetic improvements - they'd be poked, prodded and questioned without mercy until they divulged the fact they had visited the twenty-second century. ***If they returned, history would be changed anyway!!*** That sober realization woke Rick up, and he aimed the M203 at the vortex. "Nice try, Doc...no cigar!!!" "No, what're you....?!?!" Wainwright screamed. The grenade launcher fired. * * * The other 3WA patrol ships had landed in the valley as soon as the space battle between the Lucifer and pirate fleets had finished. None of the trouble consultant teams had to fire a shot in anger, so intent were each criminal force on destroying the other. Joining them in the valley was the 3WA command ship "Sentinel," which was Goulet's personal mobile command post whenever the DCA had to deploy personally on missions. Accompanying him on this trip was Madame Barr, Doctor Kubelstein and Calico. The DCA disembarked to be met by Kirkpatrick, Shasti and Deidre. "Professor!" Goulet extended his hand. "About bloody time you got here, Albert!" Kirkpatrick shook the DCA's hand. "Madame Barr, Doctor, Mister Calico," he nodded to the others. "Shasti! Deidre!" Barr cried out in relief at the sight of the two former 3WA agents standing nearby. She embraced them both in a hug. "Hi, Nicole," Deidre returned the hug. Shasti muttered her own greetings. "Oh, this is such a happy day!" Barr broke away and smiled. "That it is," Goulet reached into his pocket and pulled out two 3WA ID cards. He handed them to Shasti and Deidre. "Welcome back, girls...that is, if you want to come back." "We do!!!" the two - once given the code-name Silhouettes - cried out in unison. The mountain exploded. * * * The explosion ripped apart the underground lab. The side of the mountain blew outward as the energies from the timegate were released. The debris spewed out in every direction, the majority flying towards the distant castle. The assembled 3WA personnel scrambled to hide under their various ships' wings as chunks of earth pelted the assembled group of starships. A dust cloud billowed in the air as the last of the debris fell to the ground. The assembled 3WA agents ran up to see what happened. In a minute, the Windrider brothers found the broken body of Albert Wainwright, smashed below a rock. Donald Stuart's body was buried under a ton of rubble -it would be a while before he was dug out. Looking about, Deidre saw a pile of rocks forming a loose pyramid structure nearby. Walking up, she called out "Kei?!?! Yuri?!?! Rick?!?! Dipsy?!?!" A rock shifted, and a muscular arm punched out. The debris collapsed in a heap on top of all four 3WA agents. Luckily, there were no large chunks. Kei and Yuri were helped to their feet by Shasti. Rick and Dipsy got up on their own. "I say!" Dipsy snapped at his friend and partner. "Do you mind being careful with those things in the future!!!" "Yeah, yeah, sure, Dips!" Rick nodded. He then looked at the Lovely Angels "You two okay?" "Rick..." Kei moaned. "Promise me one thing...don't fire a grenade launcher at a time-warp ever again!" "Okay, okay!" Rick waved his hands in surrender. "Do you think we'll make it in this time period?" Dipsy asked. "I think we might," Rick nodded. Looking at the assembled 3WA personnel who were in turn looking at them, he sighed "I think we might." "Question is," Calico whispered to Madame Barr. "Can the galaxy take two Dirty Pairs." Before the Angels could snap their customary response to their hated nickname, Dipsy looked at Rick and asked "You know what he's talking about?" Rick shook his head "I know Kei and Yuri are code-named 'Lovely Angels' and we've got 'Knights of Saint George.'" He looked about in mock confusion. "You see anyone called 'Dirty Pair?'" he began asking everyone. Calico got the point... *** The End ***